"They call me James...James Bond, in the online dating world. But I'm still waiting for my license to thrill."

"I'm basically a Walmart version of James Bond with better jokes, less action, and absolutely no martinis."

"Nice taste in shows! Would you be my Penny if I promise to be your Leonard with a hint of James Bond?"

James Bond: Who are you? p**... Galore: My name is p**... Galore. James Bond: I must be dreaming

"Do I look like Mr. Serious to you? Wait, you can't see me... well, imagine a cross between Mr. Bean and James Bond."

"Durban? Nope, I'm currently in a highly classified location. Even James Bond couldn't find me. Hint: It's not as exotic as my kitchen!"

"Married and blessed with curves? Sounds like a quite intriguing combination. It's like a James Bond film - full of twists and turns."

"Well, my best friend is a secret even James Bond can't uncover. Let's talk about you, what's your favorite mystery?"

Strawberry Fields: "If you attempt to flee, I will arrest you, drop you off at the jail, and take you to the plane in chains, understand?" James Bond: "Perfectly. After you." Mathis: "I think she has handcuffs." James Bond: "I hope so."

"Ah, my girlfriend? You must've mistaken me with James Bond, because I'm currently a free agent and focused on intriguing conversations like ours."

Major Anya Amasova: "That it's very important to have a positive mental attitude." James Bond: "Nothing more practical than that?" Major Anya Amasova: "Food is also very important." James Bond: "Mm hmm. What else?" Major Anya Amasova: "When necessary, shared bodily warmth." James Bond: "That's the part I like."

"Nice to meet you, Regina! I'm James Bond's lesser-known cousin, mildly interesting Bond, ageless and timeless!"

James Bond: [James is in bed with a Ling, a Chinese woman] Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls? Ling: You think we better, huh? James Bond: No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian Caviar. But I love them both. Ling: Darling, I give you very best duck.

James Bond: "I think I'll call it a Vesper."
Vesper Lynd: "Because of the bitter aftertaste?"
James Bond: "No, because once you've tasted it, that's all you want to drink."

James Bond: "I was wrong about you."
Dr. Christmas Jones: "Yeah, how so?"
James Bond: "I thought Christmas only comes once a year."

James Bond: "I'll tell you at dinner."
Jill Masterson: "Where?"
James Bond: "Oh, I know the best place in town."

James Bond: "Well, my dear, I take it you spend quite a lot of time in the saddle."
Jenny Flex: "Yes, I love an early morning ride."
James Bond: "Well, I'm an early riser myself."

James Bond: "Well, Tracy, next time play it safe and stand on five."
Tracy: "People who want to stay alive play it safe."
James Bond: "Please, stay alive! At least for tonight."

James Bond: “Now put your clothes back on, and I'll buy you an ice cream.”

James Bond: [After Dr. Holly Goodhead kisses him] "What was that for?"
Dr. Holly Goodhead: "For saving my life."
James Bond: "Remind me to do it more often!"

James Bond: [in bed with Christmas Jones] I was wrong about you.
Dr. Christmas Jones: Yeah, how so?
James Bond: I thought Christmas only comes once a year.

James Bond: [in the shower together] "I like you better without your Beretta."
Sévérine: "I feel naked without it."

James Bond: You don't think I enjoyed what we did this evening, do you? What I did tonight was for King and country! You don't think it gave me any pleasure, do you?
Fiona Volpe: But of course, I forgot your ego, Mr. Bond. James Bond, who only has to make love to a woman and she starts to hear heavenly choirs singing. She repents and immediately turns to the side of right and virtue, but not this one. What a blow it must have been, you having a failure.
James Bond: Well, you can't win them all.

James Bond: You're not my type.
Girl: Why, cause I have half a brain?
James Bond: No, cause you're single.

James Bond:[in bed with his Scandinavian language tutor] I always enjoyed learning a new tongue.

Bond, James Bond. How's your dady now?

Tatiana Romanova: I think my mouth is too big!
James Bond: It's just the right size... for me, that is.

Tell me, Miss Trench, do you play any other games?

Marie: "Is there something I can do for you?"
James Bond: "As a matter of fact, there is. There's something I'd like you to get off your chest."

Mayday: Someone will take care of you.
James Bond: Oh! You'll see to that personally, will you?

Miss Taro: "What should I say to an invitation from a strange gentleman?"
James Bond: "You should say yes."

Oh, the things I do for England.

Oh, the things I do for my country!

Plenty O'Toole: "Hi, I'm Plenty."
James Bond: "But of course you are."

Russian Lady Agent: "But James, I need you!"
Bond: "So does England!"

Saida: "Ah! I've lost my charm!"
James Bond: "Not from where I'm standing."

Sir Donald Munger: "Tell me, Commander, how far does your expertise extend into the field of diamonds?"
James Bond: "Well, hardest substance found in nature, they cut glass, suggest marriages, I suppose it replaced the dog as the girl's best friend. That's about it."

Solitaire: "Is there time before we leave for lesson number three?"
James Bond: "Of course. There's no sense going out half-cocked."

Solitaire: "James, what are you doing?"
James Bond: "Just testing an old adage: 'Unlucky at cards . . . '"

Vesper Lynd: "I can't resist waking you. Every time I do, you look at me as if you hadn't seen me in years. Makes me feel reborn."
James Bond: "If you had just been born, wouldn't you be naked?"

Vesper Lynd: "If the only thing left of you was your smile and your little finger, you'd still be more of a man than anyone I've ever known."
James Bond: "That's because you know what I can do with my little finger . . . "

Log cabin girl: "Oh James, I cannot find the words."
Bond: "Well, let me try and enlarge your vocabulary."

Hello. Yes, I'm British.

Miss Caruso: "Such a delicate touch."
Bond: "Sheer magnetism, darling."

Wai-Lin: "They're looking for us, James."
James Bond: "Let's stay under cover."

When one is in Egypt, one should delve deeply into its treasures.

Good day darling, how would you like to bond? James Bond

Bond....James Bond

A martini. Shaken, not stirred.

Baby your Verizon line ain't the only thing I'm tryna tap

Della Leiter: "Oh, James, would you mind? Felix is still in the study and we've got to cut this cake."
James Bond: "I'll do anything for a woman with a knife."

Domino: "How do you know my friends call me Domino?"
James Bond: "It's on the bracelet on your ankle."
Domino: "So . . . what sharp little eyes you've got."
James Bond: "Wait till you get to my teeth."

Eve: "That was hardly my best shot."
James Bond: "I'm not sure I could survive your best."
Eve: "I doubt you'll get the chance."

Female Receptionist: Could I interest you in something?
James Bond: I'm tempted to say yes immediately but I think I'd maybe have a look around.

Good day darling, how would you liek to bond?

Helga Brandt: "I've got you now."
James Bond: "Well, enjoy yourself."

Honey Ryder: Looking for shells?
James Bond: No. I'm just looking.

Hotel Receptionist: "I have a message for you."
James Bond: "I think you just delivered it."

If I was James Bond's martini, how would you want me? Shaken or stirred?

Silva: "There's a first time for everything — eh, Mr. Bond?"
James Bond: "What makes you think it's my first time?"

James Bond: [James is in bed with a Ling, a Chinese woman] Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?
Ling: You think we better, huh?
James Bond: No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian Caviar. But I love them both.
Ling: Darling, I give you very best duck.

James Bond: "I tend to notice little things like that — whether a girl is a blonde or a brunette."
Tiffany Case: "Which do you prefer?"
James Bond: "Well, as long as the collar and cuffs match . . . "