Top 31 Murder Pick Up lines

Following is our collection of smooth Murder chat up lines and openingszinnen working better than reddit. They include killer conversation starters and useful comebacks for situations when you are burned, guaranteed to work as best Tinder openers.

1. Whats your favorite flower?

   Oh awesome! now i know what to put in your casket when i murder that pussy tonight

2. Do I know you? Because you look just like every guy I've ever murdered.

3. Are you a chainsaw murderer? Cuz I am head over heels.

4. Roses or Daisys?

   I just need to know what to put on the grave after I murder that pussy.

5. I'd go south of your border even if it meant having to fight murderers AND rapists.

6. Damn girl are you a lawyer

   Because I’ve been convicted of 3 separate, but related, counts of murder and am in need of an attorney that get me the best possible outcome for my trial

7. Meat is murder, but meat's gonna make you scream.

8. Are you a murderer?

   If she says no, "Then why are you killing me with those looks".
   And if she says yes, then obviously you are screwed.
   
   Edit: Guys there could be other variations to this as well, like
   'You could go to jail for this', 'for killing people with your looks'
   Try others as well...

9. Roses or Daisies?

   Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy

10. I gonna throw gang signs at yo pussy

    To let it know I’m about to murder it

Funny murder pickup lines

Damn, damn, gurl! Are you a murderer?
Cuz you put the ass ass in assassin. Finish me with those killer thighs bebe plzz

Are you a cat or a dog person?

You better say dogs, because the only thing I do to pussies is murder them

My girlfriend came up with this one. Not sure if it belongs here or r/darkjokes

Call me ben

Because all my girls are ten

Now in all seriousness am I the asshole here?


My sister just bought me a apple watch, it wasn't the newest so I was super pissed. Like what the hell? Who buys an apple product and not the newest? But anyway I was annoyed all day. It was my birthday and my dad bought me a new Ipad which was nice altough only the 128 GB version and I asked for the 256 GB.

So to the point. I was at the train station with my sister and my dad. And I put the Apple watch my sister gave me on craigslist for free to pick up. (Who's gonna use that trash LMAO) So my sister saw me do that. She got angry at me like what the hell? So as the train came up to the platform I pushed her in front of it.

I am now faced with charge of murder, like wtf she got what she deserved. I am now posting this from her funeral laughing my ass off.

Was I the asshole? I don't think I did wrong neither do my friends and 4 million instagram followers. This is just a waste of time smh...

Are you a vampire?

Because I want to shove my wooden stake in you and murder that pussy

Are you murder?

Cuz I got you on my mind.

Do you like roses or violets?

Because I want to know what to put on your grave after I murder that pussy

Hey baby, are you a murderer?
Because since I met you all the other girls suddenly disappeared

Hey baby are you a murderer?

Because your looks can kill.

Hey girl, do you have pet insurance?

If not, you need to get some because I'm gonna murder that pussy

Is your vagina Jeffrey Epstein?

Cuz I want to murder it.

Did you murder Mr Black?!

POI: “What?”

Because I want to take you back to the lounge and make a move!

Girl, are you a power socket?

Cos I would love to stick a knife into you

(It’s triple meaning so just make sure she doesn’t think you’re a murderer)

Roses or daisies?

Great! Now i know what kind of flowers to put on your grave after i murder that pussy.

I don’t mind going to jail

For murdering your pussy

Hey babe, lets go into bed and have some murdering fun.

Do you like murder mysteries...

Because I’ve been a suspect in 4 murder cases.

Hey girl, are you a James Bond villain?

Because you make me want to murder pussy galore.

Roses or daises? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.

Are you're free this Friday? Would you like to have dinner or do I have to murder your cat?

I would murder a blackmailing newspaper proprietor for you.

When I said I’d get you off, I wasn’t just talking about the murder charge.