Oh you like gherkins? I LOVE whole dill spears for my Thanksgiving table.

How will you be pureeing your root vegetables this year?

How about we skip the turkey and go straight to desert.

Good thing I wore my oven mitts, because you're too hot to handle.

Girl I'm gonna treat you like cranberry sauce and ignore you for 11 months after tonight...

Aren’t you tired of being cooped up here?

If you were a turkey, I'd totally baste you.

Are you full or would you like me to stuff you?

There’s nothing quite like having fresh pie on the table.

Hey baby, why don't you come over to my house for a little turkey and undressing?

Let’s go make my Plymouth rock.

Hey girl are you a prison?

Because I wanna see a bunch of black people inside you. (This is a joke my uncle made at thanksgiving lol I thought it was hecced)

I know what I'll be sticking in your cornucopia.

I just wanna let you know that the turkey might not be able to gobble any more but you can gobble me anytime.

Have you lost weight or did they just start carving you already?

Wanna pull the wishbone with me? I’ll promise to let you win!

Baby, I want to stuff you like a thanksgiving turkey!

Do you like stuffing?

I hate turkey. But I love you!

Is that corn on the cob in your pants or are you excited to see me?

Hey girl, were you on the Mayflower? Because you rock my ship.

I find that the skin on the heritage turkeys is so much smoother.

Would you like me to assign someone to gravy your mashed potatoes?

I'm better than thanksgiving because I can make you come more than once a year.

Let’s make like the pilgrims and faceplant on something rock-hard.

You're like Thanksgiving: one day I hope to have you at my place.

Screw stuffing a turkey this Thanksgiving; just come stuff me!

Hey you wanna play Thanksgiving with me?

You can be the Turkey and I’ll stuff you until you’re done!

When it comes to making tasty turkey, I'm a master baster.

Like a feast on Thanksgiving, your beauty fills my heart, with a longing so forgiving, from you I can't depart.

Time to put the turkey in.

I hope that turkey's not the only thing about to get stuffed.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again with this pumpkin pie?

I have an 8inch Turkey leg back at my crib if you wanna follow me.

You know what they say about large belt buckles...

Lay your head on her shoulder, and then say, "Sorry, it must be the triptophan."

I could lose my head over you.

Turkey isn't the only thing that gets me gushing, your smile and charm are truly something, without them, Thanksgiving means nothing.

You wouldn’t need pumpkin pie if you invited me over for dinner.

I hear cranberries are really good for your skin.

Put some pumpkin pie in your mouth, and then French kiss me.

You can mash my potatoes anytime.

Hello, would you like me to fan you with my wumbo eyelashes while you eat turkey?

I’ll still love you even if you have to unbutton your pants after thirds.

If you were mashed potatoes I would value you more than the rest of the food on my plate and refuse to share.

Call me Ms. Pilgrim, because I can Plymouth Rock your world.

I’d love to see your spread and give you stuffing.

If you left leg was thanksgiving and your right leg was Christmas would you....

Let me come over and eat dinner in between the holidays

Did you want the breast?

Come over on Black Friday. We can make love and have left-overs from Thanksgiving dinner. Did I mention my mom is a great cook?

"How about we make this Thanksgiving unforgettable? Your beauty surely outshines any centerpiece on the table."

"Excuse me miss, but I think you just outshone the Thanksgiving spread. Care to add some spice to my evening?"

You’re like pumpkin pie: Perfectly sweet, and exactly what I want on my lips at the end of the night.

"Join me in redefining Thanksgiving? You bring the sweetness, I'll provide the spice, together we'll make everything nice."

"This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for those curves. You're hotter than my grandma's pumpkin pie, served nude."

"Are we at the Thanksgiving table? Because you’ve certainly made my heart full and my desires rise."

"How about we make our own Thanksgiving memory? I promise, it'll be even tastier than your grandma's pumpkin pie."

"A charming lady like you shouldn't spend Thanksgiving alone; how about we make it a feast for two?"

"Can I be your pilgrim? Because I've journeyed long to find a heart as sweet as pumpkin pie."

"With no feathers or fall outfit, I'm your Thanksgiving treat, served hot and ready to satisfy your deepest cravings."

"This Thanksgiving, let's skip the clothes and feast on love, as I'll savor every gorgeous inch of you."

There is a special place in h**... for people that play Christmas music before Thanksgiving.

"This Thanksgiving, how about we skip the turkey and feast on something much more appealing... like each other?"

"Are you a Thanksgiving turkey? Because every time I see you, I'm thankful and my heart feels stuffed."

"How about we make this Thanksgiving memorable? With your beauty, it's impossible to forget."

"Ever seen a Thanksgiving turkey dressed in nothing but charm? That's me, delightfully basted in desire for you."

"If we were the only ones at Thanksgiving dinner, I'd want you as the main course, no dressings needed."

Hey girl, if you were a turkey you'd only need minimal basting because you're already so juicy.

"This Thanksgiving, are you up for being the main course? Because nothing looks as delicious as you do."

"Are you a turkey? Because I can't stop stuffing my thoughts with you, this Thanksgiving."

Dear Turkeys, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, women.

Damn, girl, you’ve got some fine yams.

"Your Thanksgiving might be solo, but what if I bring the dessert and some company to make it sweet?"

"Alone on Thanksgiving? Let’s make it a feast for two. I promise, my company is better than any pumpkin pie."

"Do you like Thanksgiving? Because I'm totally 'stuffed' with feelings for you."

If your left leg is christmas and your right leg thanksgiving...

Can i visit you between the holidays?

Are you a Thanksgiving dinner?

Cause you are so graceful I have to say thanks.

It’s almost thanksgiving, do you want to be the turkey and I can be the stuffing?

Is your left leg Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas?

Cuz I wanna see you in between the holidays

Are you the Mayflower because you have been sailing through my head?

"Are you a Thanksgiving turkey? Because I'm ready to stuff you with compliments and make our night unforgettable."

"Is your name Thanksgiving? Because I'm grateful for every moment with you, looking at your beauty is a feast."

"Thanksgiving by yourself? What if I join and we create some extra special memories to be thankful for?"

You put the "ass" in "casserole"

"This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for your captivating eyes. Care to explore what else we might be grateful for tonight?"

How about a Thanksgiving roleplay?

You'll be the Turkey and I'll be stuffing you.

"Are you a turkey at Thanksgiving? Because I can't help but get stuffed with feelings when I see you."

So, technically we’re not blood related, right? Because those juicy breasts are making me hungry!

Those juicy breasts are making me hungry!

You've got the juiciest breasts in town.

Yes, you can butter my biscuit.

Is it Thanksgiving

Cuz imma bout to stuff your turkey

I just ate Thanksgiving dinner

But I could go for a snack like you right about now

I had pumpkin pie this Thanksgiving

But I like Cutie Pie's better so it can I eat you instead

Are you like thanksgiving turkey?

Because I got my stuffing ready for you.

Thanksgiving came sooner than expected

Because I have a whole meal right in front of me

You make my turkey timer pop.

Thanksgiving dinner isn’t the only thing that will make you wanna loosen your belt.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. -Johnny Carson

You’re like Thanksgiving dinner — delicious, satisfying, and after we’re done, I’ll probably fall asleep.

The only thing sweeter than pumpkin pie is you, baby!

There's only one cavity that I want to stuff, if you know what I mean.

They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse or Stuffing-cide.

This turkey looks great. So are you a breast man or a thigh man?

Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.

Wanna take a look at my meat thermometer?

Want to break the wishbone? I’m wishing for a date with you.

Want to really freak someone out? Add 2 extra turkey legs to the turkey when it's in the oven.

Why don’t you put down that second piece of pie, pretty pilgrim. I think it’s high time you discovered my plymouth rock.

Would you like to try some of this dark meat?

Wow, that's one fantastic spread!

You can call me Tryptophan, because you'll be all sleepy after I'm done with you!

You don't need Thanksgiving to hate your family.

If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I come visit you between the holidays?

On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment ..... halftime.

No need to get up for seconds! I’m more than happy to let you gobble off of my plate!

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

My aunt is bringing her homemade cranberry sauce to our Thanksgiving dinner, and my uncle is bringing his blatant racism!

Let's play pilgrims and native americans; I'll lure you over under false pretenses and we'll feast.

If you didn't want to sit at the kids' table then you shouldn't have seen the new Twilight movie.

If I was a turkey, I'd be doing everything I could to taste terrible right now.

I’m the opposite of a turkey… I cook for four and a half hours after my timer pops!

I've got a little something for you to gobble on.

I'm excited about Thanksgiving because I love unwelcome parenting advice from relatives I see twice a year.

I'm a real master baster.

I'd love to stuff your turkey, sweetheart.

I'd love to get you in my gravy boat.

I put the “pump” in pumpkin pie.

I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving. Shouldn't the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium.

I have a thing for butterballs.

I checked the meat thermometer, and you’re officially one hot bird.