Hey girl, You want to help celebrate Father's Day by making me one?

I'm no vampire sweetheart but I'm fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.

Is that a Turkey Leg in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

I ain’t got four leaves, baby, but if you pluck me, I’ll give you luck!

Ummm so who's trying to become a mother tonight?

Can I kiss your Blarney Stone?

I might not be a vampire, but I sure know how to s**....

I live in a cage full of Cedar shavings vibration.

I would have bought u a pair of pants for your birthday but I didn't see the point since they are gonna come off anyway.

Hey I'm Irish, you wanna play with my shillelagh and blarney stones?

Ash Wednesday is coming up.

Is it a sin that you stole my heart?

Happy Valentines Day.

Lets go eat our weight in roof insulation!

If you were a Black Friday sale, you'd be a door buster.

Easter! I hardly even knew ‘er.

I noticed you don't have any flowers or a balloon....

How you doin'?

Excuse me, but you're really stoking my yule log.

Let me know if you're in the mood to see fireworks of an entirely different kind.

The turkey isn’t the only thing on this table that needs basting.

Hey babe, want to see my Washington Monument?

Pinch me..I'm not wearing green.

Oh you like gherkins? I LOVE whole dill spears for my Thanksgiving table.

I have more than a four leaf clover.

Are you a four-leafed clover? Cuz I think I'm getting lucky tonight.

I’ll make you scream.

So you wanna ensure you have your 1st Mother's Day, "next" year?

Now I wont be able to blow out my candles...cause you ladies just took my breath away.

How will you be pureeing your root vegetables this year?

Hey, sweetheart, did you know they call me PumpkinHead?

My mom cleaned my sheets, who wants to get them dirty again.

Know what I want for Christmas? You.

Oh you're a mom? Well that means you'll know how to tuck me in later tonight.

How about we skip the turkey and go straight to desert.

Hey babe, you’re the perfect person to keep me warm at Valley Forge.

Hey babe, want some offspring from the Father of Our Country?

Good thing I wore my oven mitts, because you're too hot to handle.

Hey girl. I'm trying to celebrate my first father day.

I hope you’re as sweet as jelly beans, ‘cause I’ve been on the hunt for you.

Let's go shopping. Clothes are 100% off at my house.

You're so beautiful it makes me want to vomit.

You might not have got the deal you wanted, but you can have my number for free.

Now that we've had some turkey are you ready for the stuffing.

If I dress up as Santa, will you sit on my lap?

I may not be santa, but i am going to sneak into your room at night and empty my sack.

I have a p**... of gold...It's in my pants with two leprechauns.

Hey baby, I got 2 eggs on me, wanna find them?

Girl I'm gonna treat you like cranberry sauce and ignore you for 11 months after tonight...

My leprechaun wants to swim in your p**... of gold like he's Scrooge McDuck.

I use homemade pumpkin spice. Would you like to try some?

I just want someone to kiss me regardless of country of origin.

The only missing letters my valentine poem are U&I.

Can I conquer you?

Forget the wearing of green—let’s go right to the wearing of you like a hat!

Kiss me! No, I'm not Irish, I just make out hard!

I don’t know what the trick is sweetheart, but you certainly are a treat.

I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. If that gets you hot, call me.

I'm the rarest DNA combo in the world. I'm a blue eyed ginger.

I’ll let you Slytherin my Gryffindor.

Aren’t you tired of being cooped up here?

I've heard of this place in the new world that lies in your bedroom...

Is that candy in your pocket or are you just happy to see me sweetheart?

I guess I'm wearing green today.

If you check me out, I'll check you out.

Are you a ghost sweetheart? Because you’ve been haunting my dreams.

I not bragging but I came in 3 different ships.

Girl, do my groin rise from the dead .

If you were a turkey, I'd totally baste you.

I have one Irish friend. Other than that...kiss me.

I hope your clothes is participating in Black Friday because I want to see them 50-75% off!

Hey girl, you wanna go back to my place and maybe you can celebrate this day next year.

Hey boo, let's celebrate Father's Day next year with a 3 month old baby, you do the math.

You must be on sale because I sure am checking you out.

I'm not a father to anyone yet.

I hear this house is haunted baby … we better stick together.

You are hot like the flames on birthday candles. Happy Birthday Love!

Are you full or would you like me to stuff you?

I checked twice, and you are definitely on the naughty list!

I want you like a pint of Guinness!

I have a rubber mask and you have candy- we go trick or treating.

If you were one of Santa’s reindeer, you’d definitely be v**....

It’s a good thing we’re not in a horror movie. The cute ones always die first.

There’s nothing quite like having fresh pie on the table.

I know what you should be for Halloween. Mine.

Hey, girl, you look like a king cake. Let me put a baby in you.

Would you like to join me for brunch? You’re looking eggstra-special.

Is that a compass in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Hey baby, why don't you come over to my house for a little turkey and undressing?

I can't find a costume for Halloween baby, so can I just go as your boyfriend?

I don't know how you managed to be both hot and cold but you did it.

Once you go green, you'll never choose anything in between baby.

Let's take voyage back to my place.

I’m not a vampire, but I wouldn’t mind s**... on your neck tonight.

You know what else is on sale today? My affection.

Do u want to be my little leprechaun? I'll show u where u can find the gold.

Lets compare stories of religious guilt trauma over Corned Beef and Kashmiri chai.

Kiss me, I'm legally Irish.

That turkey ain't the only thing getting stuffed this holiday.

Hey boy, have you heard of all the great sales today? Yea clothes are 100% off at my place tonight.

It's Columbus Day....can I explore your New World?

I may be an angel in the streets, but I’m a real devil in the sheets.

Are you a firework?! Because your lighting up my eyes.

I'll raise you like one of my own.

Hi there. I'm looking for a new route to your bedroom. Care to help a sailor out?

I bet I can stick my tongue out farther than you!

Jesus isn’t the only thing that rose today.

Wanna be a mother next year?

Hey girl, let me make you a mother 9 months from now.

If I'm your valentine, every day you'll get hershey kisses.

I would totally carve your pumpkin sweetheart.

Hey babe, how's about I bayou a drink?

Hey baby, I've got something you can hang a wreath on.

I want to ask you out, but I've got butterflies in my stomach sweetheart. And worms. And maggots. And...

If we're still together next year, let's put flour in our hair, borrow your grandpa's walker, and grow old together.

As you know, I would love to teach you toys made my Elves for adults.

Any of you ladies wanna help make me a daddy by the end of the day?

Can I see your lucky charms?, because you look magically delicious tonight.

I know what I'll be sticking in your cornucopia.

I just wanna let you know that the turkey might not be able to gobble any more but you can gobble me anytime.

If your left leg was Christmas and your right leg was easter

Would you let me spend some time between the holidays?

Do you want me to come down your chimney tonight?

Have you lost weight or did they just start carving you already?

Hey girl, can you be my girlfriend this holiday?

I don’t want snow to be the only thing I’m plowing all month long

Edit: forgot the word “want”

I'm wearing green pants...

Baby, let's make fireworks every day of the year.

Can I have a look at your leprechaun?

Make out with me, I'm very Irish.

I`ve got something really special in the sack for you!

Were I to impregnate you, in several years the child will purchase you flowers and chocolates. Deal?

It’s not that I don’t love your costume. It’s just that I am literally dying to see what’s underneath it.

You are more beautiful then all the fireworks tonight.

Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

I've got a Spanish Queen behind me, Chica,

but I much prefer the one in front of me.