Hey girl, You want to help celebrate Father's Day by making me one?

I'm no vampire sweetheart but I'm fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.

Kiss me, I met an Irish person once.

Can I kiss your Blarney Stone?

Your smile is brighter than the fireworks on the 4th of July.

I ain’t got four leaves, baby, but if you pluck me, I’ll give you luck!

Today is my birthday, can i have a retweet as you wish?

I live in a cage full of Cedar shavings vibration.

Hey I'm Irish, you wanna play with my shillelagh and blarney stones?

I would have bought u a pair of pants for your birthday but I didn't see the point since they are gonna come off anyway.

Hey Girl...Pls become the mother of my future children...

Happy Valentines Day.

Lets go eat our weight in roof insulation!

If you were a Black Friday sale, you'd be a door buster.

Excuse me, but you're really stoking my yule log.

Easter! I hardly even knew ‘er.

I noticed you don't have any flowers or a balloon....

How you doin'?

You look this good and its only Saturday? I’d like to see you in your Sunday Best.

Let me know if you're in the mood to see fireworks of an entirely different kind.

Pinch me..I'm not wearing green.

The turkey isn’t the only thing on this table that needs basting.

Oh you like gherkins? I LOVE whole dill spears for my Thanksgiving table.

I have more than a four leaf clover.

I’ll make you scream.

Are you a four-leafed clover? Cuz I think I'm getting lucky tonight.

So you wanna ensure you have your 1st Mother's Day, "next" year?

Now I wont be able to blow out my candles...cause you ladies just took my breath away.

Hey, sweetheart, did you know they call me PumpkinHead?

How will you be pureeing your root vegetables this year?

How about we skip the turkey and go straight to desert.

My mom cleaned my sheets, who wants to get them dirty again.

Oh you're a mom? Well that means you'll know how to tuck me in later tonight.

Hey babe, want some offspring from the Father of Our Country?

Hey babe, you’re the perfect person to keep me warm at Valley Forge.

Know what I want for Christmas? You.

I hope you’re as sweet as jelly beans, ‘cause I’ve been on the hunt for you.

Let's go shopping. Clothes are 100% off at my house.

Good thing I wore my oven mitts, because you're too hot to handle.

Hey girl. I'm trying to celebrate my first father day.

It’s almost midnight sweetheart. I can’t wait to see what you turn into.

If I dress up as Santa, will you sit on my lap?

You might not have got the deal you wanted, but you can have my number for free.

Now that we've had some turkey are you ready for the stuffing.

Hey baby, I got 2 eggs on me, wanna find them?

I may not be santa, but i am going to sneak into your room at night and empty my sack.

Girl I'm gonna treat you like cranberry sauce and ignore you for 11 months after tonight...

I have a p**... of gold...It's in my pants with two leprechauns.

Can I conquer you?

Forget the wearing of green—let’s go right to the wearing of you like a hat!

I use homemade pumpkin spice. Would you like to try some?

I just want someone to kiss me regardless of country of origin.

My leprechaun wants to swim in your p**... of gold like he's Scrooge McDuck.

The only missing letters my valentine poem are U&I.

Kiss me! No, I'm not Irish, I just make out hard!

I don’t know what the trick is sweetheart, but you certainly are a treat.

I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. If that gets you hot, call me.

I’ll let you Slytherin my Gryffindor.

I'm the rarest DNA combo in the world. I'm a blue eyed ginger.

Aren’t you tired of being cooped up here?

I've heard of this place in the new world that lies in your bedroom...

Is that candy in your pocket or are you just happy to see me sweetheart?

I’ll let you play with my eggs and you let me fertilize yours.

If you check me out, I'll check you out.

I not bragging but I came in 3 different ships.

Are you a ghost sweetheart? Because you’ve been haunting my dreams.

If you were a turkey, I'd totally baste you.

Girl, do my groin rise from the dead .

I hope your clothes is participating in Black Friday because I want to see them 50-75% off!

Hey girl, you wanna go back to my place and maybe you can celebrate this day next year.

Hey boo, let's celebrate Father's Day next year with a 3 month old baby, you do the math.

You must be on sale because I sure am checking you out.

I have it on good authority that you and me are gonna be hearing the Angels singing tonight

I'm not a father to anyone yet.

You are hot like the flames on birthday candles. Happy Birthday Love!

I hear this house is haunted baby … we better stick together.

Are you full or would you like me to stuff you?

I checked twice, and you are definitely on the naughty list!

I want you like a pint of Guinness!

I have a rubber mask and you have candy- we go trick or treating.

If you were one of Santa’s reindeer, you’d definitely be v**....

It’s a good thing we’re not in a horror movie. The cute ones always die first.

There’s nothing quite like having fresh pie on the table.

Is that a compass in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Hey, girl, you look like a king cake. Let me put a baby in you.

Would you like to join me for brunch? You’re looking eggstra-special.

I know what you should be for Halloween. Mine.

Hey baby, why don't you come over to my house for a little turkey and undressing?

I can't find a costume for Halloween baby, so can I just go as your boyfriend?

I don't know how you managed to be both hot and cold but you did it.

I’m not a vampire, but I wouldn’t mind s**... on your neck tonight.

Once you go green, you'll never choose anything in between baby.

Let's take voyage back to my place.

Do u want to be my little leprechaun? I'll show u where u can find the gold.

You know what else is on sale today? My affection.

Lets compare stories of religious guilt trauma over Corned Beef and Kashmiri chai.

Kiss me, I'm legally Irish.

That turkey ain't the only thing getting stuffed this holiday.

Hey boy, have you heard of all the great sales today? Yea clothes are 100% off at my place tonight.

Hey baby. Want to go and trade some goods?

It's Columbus Day....can I explore your New World?

I'll raise you like one of my own.

Are you a firework?! Because your lighting up my eyes.

Hi there. I'm looking for a new route to your bedroom. Care to help a sailor out?

I bet I can stick my tongue out farther than you!

Jesus isn’t the only thing that rose today.

Hey girl, let me make you a mother 9 months from now.

If I'm your valentine, every day you'll get hershey kisses.

Wanna be a mother next year?

Hey babe, how's about I bayou a drink?

I would totally carve your pumpkin sweetheart.

Hey baby, I've got something you can hang a wreath on.

If we're still together next year, let's put flour in our hair, borrow your grandpa's walker, and grow old together.

I want to ask you out, but I've got butterflies in my stomach sweetheart. And worms. And maggots. And...

As you know, I would love to teach you toys made my Elves for adults.

Any of you ladies wanna help make me a daddy by the end of the day?

Can I see your lucky charms?, because you look magically delicious tonight.

I know what I'll be sticking in your cornucopia.

I just wanna let you know that the turkey might not be able to gobble any more but you can gobble me anytime.

If your left leg was Christmas and your right leg was easter

Would you let me spend some time between the holidays?

Do you want me to come down your chimney tonight?

Hey girl, can you be my girlfriend this holiday?

I don’t want snow to be the only thing I’m plowing all month long

Edit: forgot the word “want”

Have you lost weight or did they just start carving you already?

I'm wearing green pants...

Baby, let's make fireworks every day of the year.

Make out with me, I'm very Irish.

Can I have a look at your leprechaun?

I`ve got something really special in the sack for you!

Were I to impregnate you, in several years the child will purchase you flowers and chocolates. Deal?

It’s not that I don’t love your costume. It’s just that I am literally dying to see what’s underneath it.

You are more beautiful then all the fireworks tonight.

Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

I've got a Spanish Queen behind me, Chica,

but I much prefer the one in front of me.