Top 14 Asshole Pick Up lines

Following is our collection of Asshole chat up lines and openingszinnen working better than reddit. They include killer conversation starters and useful comebacks for situations when you are burned, guaranteed to work as best Tinder openers.

1. Are your parents assholes?

   Because you're the shit.

2. Man: I'd really like to get into your pants. Woman: No thanks. There's already one asshole in there.

3. If you were a noose I'd hang with you.

   A great way to tell if the person you're talking to likes dark humor and doesn't take everything so seriously.
   WHY SO SERIOUS is usually my response if they get offended. I'm an asshole ik.

4. Am i turning purple

   Cuz you're the antman to my asshole

5. I know im an asshole

   But would you be my little piece of shit to be there with me forever?

6. Are you toilet wine

   Because the guard has been up my ass all day and I'm still thirsty..
   This was meant to be horrible.. I spent so much time in this sub looking for valuable pickup lines and now I'm just a cynical asshole! Fuck you all cept Tyrone.. he cool.

7. Are you an asshole?

   Because I'd fuck the shit out of you.

8. Call me ben

   Because all my girls are ten
   
   Now in all seriousness am I the asshole here?
   
   
   My sister just bought me a apple watch, it wasn't the newest so I was super pissed. Like what the hell? Who buys an apple product and not the newest? But anyway I was annoyed all day. It was my birthday and my dad bought me a new Ipad which was nice altough only the 128 GB version and I asked for the 256 GB.
   
   So to the point. I was at the train station with my sister and my dad. And I put the Apple watch my sister gave me on craigslist for free to pick up. (Who's gonna use that trash LMAO) So my sister saw me do that. She got angry at me like what the hell? So as the train came up to the platform I pushed her in front of it.
   
   I am now faced with charge of murder, like wtf she got what she deserved. I am now posting this from her funeral laughing my ass off.
   
   Was I the asshole? I don't think I did wrong neither do my friends and 4 million instagram followers. This is just a waste of time smh...

9. Spontaneous eye is a sign ....

   ...that two people should talk.
   
   I had an epiphany today and thought I'd share with you all.
   Ive come to the realization that a guy should never resist from talking to the girl he finds attractive, I mean ever. Whether it's a stranger or a chick from your social circle. You can take it as far you want but the least he must do it introduce himself. Otherwise he's not man enough. It's feminine to hold your impulse, have second thoughts and conspire within. Blast your approach anxiety and put yourself out there. That's how become more masculine, more confident and be the man.
   If you don't go for what you want, some asshole will.
   
   Don't wait for your soulmate and waste your life. Don't be choosy, Attraction should be clue enough to make a move. If the girl's personality or nature sucks you can always next her later.
   
   Just my 2 cents for my Bros.
   Cheers
   bRo.

10. Hey girl are you reddit?

    Because fuck you! I am not the fucking asshole!

Funny asshole pickup lines

Hey I know I’m an asshole
But anal I really like you.

Hey girl have you had a pussy stretched over your head? No?

Youre an asshole baby ;)

Hey baby?

Ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?

works everyyyyyy time.

Yeah. I'm an asshole, but will that stop me from getting in yours?