Top 17 Asshole Pick Up lines

Following is our collection of smooth and dirty Asshole pick up lines and openingszinnen working better than reddit. Include killer Omegle conversation starters and useful chat up lines and comebacks for situations when you are burned, guaranteed to work best as Tinder openers.

1. Hey, do you wanna go get some taco bell?

   If not, I'm sure we can find another way to destroy your asshole.

2. Are your parents assholes?

   Because you're the shit.

3. Man: I'd really like to get into your pants. Woman: No thanks. There's already one asshole in there.

4. Am i turning purple

   Cuz you're the antman to my asshole

5. Baby are you the planet Uranus

   Cuz I've never met a bigger asshole

6. I know im an asshole

   But would you be my little piece of shit to be there with me forever?

7. I tried waxing my own asshole and it got stuck together -W2S

8. Hey baby are you the Grinch?

   Because your asshole is looking 3 sizes too small and I wanna show you the Christmas spirit.

9. Are you an asshole?

   Because I'd fuck the shit out of you.

10. Call me ben

    Because all my girls are ten
    
    Now in all seriousness am I the asshole here?
    
    
    My sister just bought me a apple watch, it wasn't the newest so I was super pissed. Like what the hell? Who buys an apple product and not the newest? But anyway I was annoyed all day. It was my birthday and my dad bought me a new Ipad which was nice altough only the 128 GB version and I asked for the 256 GB.
    
    So to the point. I was at the train station with my sister and my dad. And I put the Apple watch my sister gave me on craigslist for free to pick up. (Who's gonna use that trash LMAO) So my sister saw me do that. She got angry at me like what the hell? So as the train came up to the platform I pushed her in front of it.
    
    I am now faced with charge of murder, like wtf she got what she deserved. I am now posting this from her funeral laughing my ass off.
    
    Was I the asshole? I don't think I did wrong neither do my friends and 4 million instagram followers. This is just a waste of time smh...

Funny asshole pickup lines

Hey baby?
Ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?

works everyyyyyy time.

Hey baby are you a titan because you're hot,

like the flames of hell you came from your asshole and you ate my mom.

Hey girl are you reddit?

Because fuck you! I am not the fucking asshole!

Spontaneous eye is a sign ....

...that two people should talk.

I had an epiphany today and thought I'd share with you all.
Ive come to the realization that a guy should never resist from talking to the girl he finds attractive, I mean ever. Whether it's a stranger or a chick from your social circle. You can take it as far you want but the least he must do it introduce himself. Otherwise he's not man enough. It's feminine to hold your impulse, have second thoughts and conspire within. Blast your approach anxiety and put yourself out there. That's how become more masculine, more confident and be the man.
If you don't go for what you want, some asshole will.

Don't wait for your soulmate and waste your life. Don't be choosy, Attraction should be clue enough to make a move. If the girl's personality or nature sucks you can always next her later.

Just my 2 cents for my Bros.
Cheers
bRo.

Hey girl have you had a pussy stretched over your head? No?

Youre an asshole baby ;)

Yeah. I'm an asshole, but will that stop me from getting in yours?