I thought I had all the snacks I needed for quarantine

, but looks like I missed one

You like c_ddles and I like k_ssing

And we both know exactly what's missing

Are you my KFC order?

Because I’m missing two thighs!

Are you my will to live?

Because I miss having you around

S'cuse me miss! Im gonna have to cite you for aggressive cuteness.

If convicted you could receive 5-10 solid dates.

Are you my dad?

Cuz you’re the only thing missing from my life

Are you from Mississippi, because your the only miss whose piss I’d sippy

I love to c_ddle and k_ss but there are two things missing

The top of my Christmas tree is missing a angel like you.

Excuse me miss but can I have a moment of your time.

Excuse me miss, can you check and see if I have a hook in my lip?

I miss out the ingredients for my pizza, and that's you.

Good night! I shall miss you til morning.

The only missing letters my valentine poem are U&I.

Hey, I just got my flight number. I'm just missing your phone number.

Somebody better call God and tell him he's missing an angel.

Is your body from McDonald's miss? Cause i'm lovin' it.

You can’t be a stormtrooper because you aimed at my heart and didn’t miss.

Hey, girl, is that a mirror in your pocket? Oh, they're Miss Me jeans, and you look beautiful.

Do you play tennis? Because that was a swing and a miss.

Baby, you're the missing piece of my heart container.

You are the missing piece in my life-set.

Well someone better call god cause heavens missing an angel.

I've called heaven and told them they must me missing an angel fish.

Are you breakfast

Three punchlines
A:because i miss you often
B:because you go good with milk ;)
C:because you acting kind of fruity

Are you Fernando Torres?

Because I miss the old you.

Why not missing out in my writing?

Miss, if your shamrocks need some bangers, I got the shortest sausage for you!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Cynthia!

Cynthia who? Cynthia you been away, I missed you. 

Missing you is like soccer without a ball.

Sup Girl, you look like a greek statue, except you got your clothes on and aren't missing your arms.

Let me be your Missing Link.

all these forks and knives

But I'm still missing a little spoon

Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

Something is missing from my sol.

I think it’s U

Hey girl. Why dont you be my Miss Elizabeth and I'll be your Macho Man?

I found the missing minutes of the Watergate tapes in your eyes.

Miss, could you prompt me? Then I'll know the directions to your heart.

Hey Miss, I'm a Pirate, so I was wondering if I could plunder your booty.

Hey miss, want to see my Dragon, it's a year long.

(UPS Delivery Costume) Excuse me, Miss, could you sign for this package?

Here miss, let me give you a hand.

Miss Beauty Queen, come let you and I be the first man and woman on Jupiter.

Miss, I think you might be in my seat. No, it's ok. We can share.

My phone is Light

*>Goes up to a lady and holds out my phone to her "Would you mind holding this for a second?"*
\>Lady takes the phone for a moment
\>A*sks "Does my phone feel light to you"*


\>Lady responds "I guess?"
\>T*akes the phone back "I knew it it's been feeling light all day, and I just can't figure out out"*
\>O*pens up the contacts list and browses through it, when a sudden look of shock is on my face "I figured it out!"*
\>Lady goes "What?"


*>Says as I hold the phone out to her again "It's missing your number"*

Are you a puzzle?

Because id leave you on the table unfinished ;3

(or {because im the piece you’re missing})

Excuse me miss, can I pay for your printing?

Are you a target?

Cause im gonna shoot my shot but miss every single one of them

Are you an F# because I miss you constantly.

Miss, step aside please I need to check you...

Cause I think you have stolen my heart

- Day 80

Girl, are you my dad?

Cause ur gonna go missing soon

Pardon me Miss. I…uhh..hello? Dang it! She fainted again.

Are you breakfast, because I miss you often.

Hey baby! I can help you find the thick iron rod if it gets missing in the midst of darkness.

Babe, are you missing wood in your forest?

I am the missing sock that you have been looking for. Now we could explore the world together.

Girl, are you missing a trampoline? Because I am never bouncing on you.

Reasons to Date a Hockey Player: 1. They Always Wear Protection 2. They Have Great Hands 3. They Are Used To Scoring 4. They Have Great Stamina 5. They Find The Opening And Get It In 6. They Never Miss The Target 7. They Know How To Use Their Wood 8. They Have Long Sticks 9. They Know When To Play Rough 10. Because Baseball Players Only Know How To Hit Balls

Excuse me miss, could you hold my balls while I get my racket out of my bag?

Hey miss, I need you to come with me. I told my mother I'd bring her something beautiful from the powwow.

Are you the sun?

Because you are bright everyday and I miss you every night

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you are missing a man to catch your fall.

Have you seen my missing Monopoly real estate card? Because I have a property saved for you tonight.

Babe you a queen? Because you are missing a scepter and my ball.

Babe, the only moon missing is our honey moon.

Hey, are you my missing sock? Because I've been looking for you for a long time and I'm glad that I finally found you.

You must be my missing glasses, you help me see this world in a better and beautiful way.