They say some men drive really expensive cars to compensate for a small p**...... Did I mention that I drive a 1978 Ford Pinto?

Do you know I have tattoo on my p**...? Come to my place and find out.

I can't see my p**.... Can you tell me what it looks like?

The CIA is trying to steal my p**...... I need to find a place to hide it.

Let's add this log to the fire. Oh wait, that's just my p**....

You're just like Ann Coulter, but without the p**...!

You make me feel like I'm the Republic of Ireland because since I started looking at you, my p**... is Dublin.

Every time I regenerate, my p**... gets bigger.

What's your favorite roll? Dragon, rainbow, p**...?

The mitochondria, much like my penis is the powerhouse of the cell

The FBI wants to steal my p**.... Can I hide it inside you?

Are you from the Philippines? Because I wanna Phil you with my p**....

Did You Know, my p**... is made of Valyrian steel.

There's a reason they call me Bat man – if you know what I mean…okay, I'm talkin' about my p**....

I have a small p**.... It used to be called The Little Mermaid.

That's not my Kamehameha girl, that's my p**...!

You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my p**....

You are so hot that even on a cold winter night my p**... would stand for you.

Enough Tennis, how about playing with p**... tonight?

With great p**... comes great responsibility

Are you a magician? Because whenever I see you, abracadabra, all thoughts of penises disappear.

Are you a dildo? Because you make my penis feel like it's in paradise when it's with you.

"You've got the charm that surpasses any blue movie star, how about we create our own intimate script?"

"Is your name Gorilla Glue? Because my feelings for you are getting pretty sticky and hard to remove."

"Is your name Elizabeth? Cause my love for you is more royal than the Queen's jewels."

"Do you like long drives? Because my feelings for you are like a roadtrip, they just keep going on."

"Like a perfectly shaped penis, your beauty brings me to my knees in awe."

"They say I'm gifted, not just in personality. Care to unwrap your surprise?"

"Are you a pen? Because my love for you is mightier than the sword."

"Are you Gorilla Glue? Cause every time I see you, I'm stuck in this crazy, white-hot romance."

"Is your name Art? Because my penis sculpture just got interested in you."

If beauty was measured in penises, you'd be a masterpiece. You've got me completely enchanted.

"I'm not a king, but I sure know how to rule the kingdom of your heart!"

"Is your body an art exhibit? Because it's more breathtaking than any penis sculpture I've ever crafted."

"Are you a castle? Cause honey, this king has found the perfect place for his royal scepter."

"Are you Gorilla Glue? Because I can't seem to tear myself away from you, despite all the monkey business!"

"Are you a Lunchable? Because even though I'm grown, I can't resist taking a bite out of your cheesy goodness."

"Do we have a lunchable between us? Because this connection is cheese, crackers, and undeniably hamming it up."

"Are you a Hershey's Kiss? Because even my jeans agree we'd make the sweetest pair."

"Just like a Lunchables pack, I'm compact but full of surprises. Ready to pop open this box of charm?"

"Like Gorilla Glue, I stick to commitments... so how about we bond in a love as strong and white as adhesive?"

"Just like a sculptor captures perfection, I can't help but get lost in your exquisite form."

"Are you a Jedi? Because my feelings for you are stronger than Yoda's force grip."

"Are you a fan of Lunchables? Because just like them, my package might be small, but it's always satisfying."

"Do you work at a glue factory? Because every time I see you, my heart sticks like a gorilla's grip."

"Do you like Taylor Swift? Because just like her love songs, I can't seem to shake you off my mind."

"Are you a sketch artist? Because every time I picture my perfect match, you draw up in my mind."

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven or did you use Gorilla Glue to stick the landing into my heart?"

Let's start Apples to Apples. My p**... to your p**...?

"Are you a Lunchables pack? Because I'm feeling like a kid again and I can't handle your 'fun-size' appeal."

"Are you a software update? Because every time I see you, my hardware turns into hard-drive!"

"Is your name Hershey's? Because you turn my pocket into a candy store with just one look."

"I must be a Hershey's Kiss, because I'm small, sweet, and perfect for when you're craving a little indulgence."

"I may not play guitar like Taylor Swift, but when I look at you, I can certainly feel my 'strumming' intensify."

"Is it a crime to steal hearts? Because with your size and charm, you're guilty as charged."

"They call me the 'White Gorilla', not because I'm strong, but because I'm stuck on you like glue."

Like a rose in bloom, your beauty shines; I'm drawn to you like bees to honey mines.

"Just like a penis sculpture, your allure is something I find more fascinating the longer I look."

"Are you Gorilla Glue? Because I can't seem to unstick my heart from you."

"Just like Gorilla Glue, my feelings for you are strong, durable, and a little messy to handle!"

"Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes, and I'd love to explore your world."

"Are you a Hershey's Kiss? Because just a peck from you is sweeter than any candy I've ever tasted."

You're the missing piece to my puzzle - let's create some unforgettable moments together, starting now.

"Is your name Google Maps? Because I can't find my way around your smile, and I think I've just hit a dead-end."

Like a pen to paper, you bring magic to life, your beauty sharper than any knife.

"Is your name Google Maps? Because I want to explore all the routes to your heart."

"Just like a penis sculpture, you're a perfect blend of elegance, allure, and a daring dash of intrigue."

Are you made of water? Because you make me feel like a fountain!

"I may not be Luke Skywalker, but I promise I won't let our love story end in a 'Han Solo' situation."

Are you a parking ticket? Because you have "fine" written all over your big package.

"I must be a Lunchables ham, because whenever I'm around you, I can't help but act like a total ham."

Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes... and also in my pants.

"Is your name GPS? Because I'm getting directions to your heart and I don't want to take any detours."

"Like a poorly handled tube of Gorilla Glue, my thoughts of you are messy, sticky and hard to remove."

When I was younger my fairy godmother said I can have a long p**... or a long memory, I can’t remember my response.

"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again with my Safe Search off?"

"Not all artists use clay or marble, some like me express their passion with craftsmanship that's way more personal."

"Your beauty surpasses even the finest sculpted masterpiece, are you the muse behind my next penile masterpiece?"

"Do you believe in the force? Because I've certainly felt an awakening...in my pants."

"Are you a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes... and my GPS is as unreliable as a male ego."

"Is your name Venus, radiant and divine? In the garden of love, your beauty's the finest wine."

"Seeing you is more breathtaking than any penis sculpture, but let's carve out a moment that's uniquely ours."

"Just like Taylor Swift's pen, is mightier than the sword, your smile is mightier than any charm!"

"Just like a Lunchable, I might not be gourmet, but I'm fun, convenient, and perfect for a quick lunch break date!"

"Are you a Lunchable? Because I've been craving something fun-sized and portable like you all day."

Can I borrow a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes every time I look into them.

"Ever heard of a chocolate bar that can satisfy you forever? Get ready to taste the sweetest one."

"Is your heart a treasure? Because I’ve been searching for a gem like you in the rainbow sea."

"Are you a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes while planning our road trip."

Are you a dildo? Because you make me feel like I'm in for a wild ride.

"Is your name Hershey? Cause I've got a 'kiss-sized' surprise you might find deliciously ridiculous!"

"Are you a penis sculpture? Because your form is absolutely breathtaking, adding excitement to art."

"Is your heart made of Gorilla Glue? Because my feelings for you just won't come unstuck."

"Are you a physics test? Because the length of my attraction for you is growing exponentially, much like Schrödinger's equation."

Are you a magician? Because whenever I see you, my wand wants to make an appearance.

Your beauty is like a perfect ink stain, coloring my thoughts with pleasure and no pain.

"If I were a Hershey's Kiss, would you let me add some sweetness to your life with my ridiculous charm?"

"Ever seen a masterpiece in a museum? You're about to meet an artist of love, specializing in anatomical sculptures."

Are you a skilled artist? Because every time I see you, you make my heart draw a smile.

"Are you Gorilla Glue? Because without you, my love life would fall apart."

"Your beauty makes even Venus blush, and me? Well, I'm just a humble artist specializing in organ sculptures."

"Are you a Lunchables? Cause you've got me looking forward to snack time, even though I'm clearly an adult."

"Call me the king, because whenever I see you, my heart starts beating like it's wearing a crown."

"Are you a magician? Because whenever you're near, my pants disappear."

Are you a clock? Because it's penis time and you're making it tick faster.

"Do you like physics? Because I've got a theory, your attraction is the force that's causing my expansion."

Are you a piranha plant? Because you make my mushroom grow!

"Are you a queen? Because my heart is trying to stage a coup and you're the only one who can rule it."

"Is your name Hershey? Because I've been looking for a kiss that's as unique and exciting as your personality."

"Just like Gorilla Glue bonds things together, my heart is hopelessly bonded to you: a sticky yet delightful situation."

"Just like Gorilla Glue, I might not be a smooth operator, but I sure can make a lasting impression."

"Are you a penis sculpture? Because everyone stops to take a second look at your majestic beauty."

"Let me handle your penis like an artist with a brush - delicately and with great finesse."

"Are you a penis sculpture? Because you're a work of art I can't help but admire."

"Like a kid with a Lunchable, I'm just looking for the right person to share my delightfully compact package with."

"Are you a Taylor Swift song? Because whenever I see you, I feel like I've got a 'Love Story' to write."

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again and shout 'penis time'?"

"Are you a software update? Because whenever I see you, my hardware definitely experiences an unexpected rise in performance."

Are you a Goomba? Because you've got me jumping for joy like Mario on a flagpole.

"Height isn't all I have to offer; there's more beneath worth exploring, if you're brave enough."

"Do I have a castle? Nope, but I've got a king-sized heart that's ready to rule your world."

"Is your name Gorilla Glue? Because I'm stuck on you like a misguided arts & crafts project!"

Are you Princess Peach? Because I'd gladly rescue you from any castle, no matter how many Bowser's are in there!

"Is your heart as captivated as your gaze? Because my height isn't the only thing reaching for the stars."

Is your name Google? Because you have everything I've been searching for... except for my missing penis.

Are you made of magic? Because every time I see you, my heart beats faster than a spinning penis.

Your beauty is like a perfect equation, it just makes my x stand up for you.

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're Cu-Te, just like how I feel about this penis.

"Are you Gorilla Glue? Because my heart's broken, and I believe only you can mend it."

"Are you Gorilla Glue? Because every time I look at you, my heart gets stuck in a hopeless romantic situation."

"Are you a queen? Because my heart is staging a coup just to be ruled by your charm!"