"I guess I'm like a cooking show host - I make everything seem way easier than it actually is, but without the tasty end results!"

"Thanks! It's the result of a strict vocal diet of rock-and-roll and talking to plants. They say I have a green 'throat'!"

"Just like a perfectly orchestrated symphony, my attention brings tension but results in the most beautiful melody, us."

"Is your major Fitness and Nutrition? Because your body is a masterpiece that's clearly a result of meticulous study."

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I've been searching for, plus a few unexpected results."

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for, including the fun results!"

"You're my perfect geometry, a mix of right angles and curves that I can measure all night long."

I have candies in that truck.

(for best results use at kids)

"Your beauty just skewed my poll results, now 'Breathtaking' is off the charts."

You rank first on my personalized search results.

Kirito: Real pain is the result of losing someone you care about.

"Sweetheart, losing might be fun if it results in a captivating dinner with you, a win in my book."

"Are you a test subject at Aperture Science? Because my heart's results are off the charts whenever I see you."

"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I rank higher in your search results?"

"I may have failed in algebra because nothing compares to the complex equation of your beauty."

Old friend and I started talking again always loved her for a long time

Did you know when you bend a piece of metal the atoms in the metal release kinetic energy and the result is the metal heating up because the atoms are moving same as the body when it moves it releases kinetic energy. And when I talk to you, you bend my rigid heart back into shape and heats up everytime I talk to you

"Is your name Google? Because my heart says you're the most searched result for 'she's denying she's sexy'."

"Studying, huh? Bet you're aceing it just like I aced my 'Understanding Women 101' class. Spoiler: it's a self-taught course with questionable results."

"Just like my math exam - half good, half bad - you're a problem I wouldn't mind getting wrong over and over."

"Is your name Google? Because I've been searching for a unique masterpiece, and you're the best result."

"Thank you! It's a result of seeing life through a lens of positivity. It might be contagious, want to catch it?"

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I've been searching for, plus you're my number one result."

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for. Sorry, did I just crash your search results?"

"Just like Geometry, I've measured my chances and they all point towards wanting to know your angles."

"I may have failed in algebra, but when it comes to your curves, I know there's no better equation."

"Is your name Google? Because you've got all the thiccest search results in my heart."

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for... like the result of tonight's football match."

Are you a tectonic plate?

Cause I'd love to ram into you with force resulting in tremendous friction and heat.

"Believe me, I don't need a Google search when your smile is my favorite result."

I’m glad I turned off my VPN because I just found a hot single in my area.

*tip: use this when you know they are hot, single, and in your area for better results.

"Just like how I aced geometry, I can't help but "measure" the perfect curves of your smile."

"Is your name Google, Tameka? Because whenever I think 'beautiful', you're all the search results I want at Westfield."

Just got the test results for your heart, looks like you need some loooove.

"Is your name Google? Because every time I see you, my search results say 'boobs ahyee'."

"Hey, let's not stress about things we can't control! You're vibrant and brilliant, any result won't define you."

Can you rate this direct message that i just used

Hello would you like to talk about schrodinger's wave equation. i used this equation to determine that there's equal chances of you replying or not replying to this message, surely we will know the result once i hit the send button. that's the rule of quantum mechanics

"Is your name Google? Because every time you're missing me, it feels like the best search result."

"Is your name Google? Because I've been searching for a keyword called cute and you're the only result!"

"Do you work in SEO? Because I just can't seem to rank higher than number one in your search results."

"I may have failed algebra but I've definitely passed in finding a stunning beauty like you."

"Is your major Fitness? Because your body is clearly a result of years of dedicated study and disciplined practice."

"Is your name Google? Because I was doubtful I'm the right one, but you've got all the search results saying 'yes'."

"They say madness is doing the same thing and expecting different results, but with you, it's a pleasure worth repeating."

"I've always been quick to pick up on things - a result of my curiosity. What do you say we explore our common interests further?"

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for...and the results are breathtakingly attractive."

"You're like a complex algebra problem, I failed to solve you, but can't stop trying."

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I've been searching for, and you're my top result tonight."

"Is your name Google, Vedrana? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for, even the results in Croatian."

"Is your name Google? Because you have everything I've been searching for, and some seriously sexy search results."

Hey baby, did it hurt?

"Did what hurt?" (*Rolls eyes*)

When Abraham Lincoln was ASSASINATED?!?!?


Note:
switching from a normal tone of voice to yelling the last word is mandatory

Usage:
1) as a dropoff line to retaliate when they act in an insulting way, in order to relish in their typically hilarious reactions of disgust when you'd normally walk away
2) to satisfy your hands/slap fetish, because that is a very likely result
3) ???

Under what conditions do you think it's impossible to approach?

...assuming you're thinking of getting a good result.

Hey girl

Do you want to be the Bonnie to my Clyde without the whole interstate crime spree resulting in our grizzly deaths thing?

A great pick-up line, with great results

"I want to release my happy time into you"

Under what conditions do you think it'a impossible to approach?

...assuming you think it is possible to get a good result.

Do you know Google ranks search results by link popularity? You rank as my number one because all my links point to you.

Google can return millions of results in under 1 second, and it took me a life time to find you.

Make a passing comment about your meeting being the result of Divine intervention or Divine appointment.