"Hey, Mr. Muscular Milkman, was your body sculpted by angels? Or is it just the result of lifting all those milk bottles?"

"If the world’s falling apart, at least let me wake up tomorrow wrapped in your arms—sounds much better than the news!"

"Is your name Google? Because you have a flat ass... no results found."

"I guess I'm like a cooking show host - I make everything seem way easier than it actually is, but without the tasty end results!"

"Thanks! It's the result of a strict vocal diet of rock-and-roll and talking to plants. They say I have a green 'throat'!"

"If we face another uncertain day, can I at least start it by seeing that beautiful smile of yours?"

"Is your major Fitness and Nutrition? Because your body is a masterpiece that's clearly a result of meticulous study."

"Is your name Google? Because when I look at you, all I see is Pacho's greatest search result."

"If waking up tomorrow feels daunting, how about we get lost in each other tonight instead? You’re irresistible."

"Did we just pass an exam? Because my heart is doing a happy dance for your results!"

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I've been searching for, plus a few unexpected results."

"Is your name Google? Because I've been searching 'I love you' and all the results point to you."

"You're my perfect geometry, a mix of right angles and curves that I can measure all night long."

Guess that makes me your ultimate achievement! Just call me MVP of your good deeds. What's the prize for winning? Free snacks? 🍕

"Forget the election results; how about we make our own future... starting with a little fun together?"

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for, including the fun results!"

"Are you algebra? Because even when I fail at it, I can't stop being attracted to your complexity."

I have candies in that truck.

(for best results use at kids)

Kirito: Real pain is the result of losing someone you care about.

You rank first on my personalized search results.

"Your beauty just skewed my poll results, now 'Breathtaking' is off the charts."

"Are you a dream? Because waking up without you in America feels like a nightmare I don't want to face."

"If life feels heavy after the election, let me lift your spirits—starting with that gorgeous smile of yours."

"They say insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting different results. Well, I'd keep walking into this room hoping you’d notice me."

"Are you a dream? Because after these election results, I'd rather stay lost in your eyes than face reality."

"Are you a test subject at Aperture Science? Because my heart's results are off the charts whenever I see you."

"Is your name Google? Because every time I undress you, I'm lost in your search results."

"Are you a rainbow? Because you bring color to my gray thoughts about tomorrow after all this election chaos."

"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I rank higher in your search results?"

"Sweetheart, losing might be fun if it results in a captivating dinner with you, a win in my book."

Careful, getting too close might result in spontaneous dance parties and terrible karaoke performances! 🕺🎤

"Are you a theory? Because I'd love to prove how wildly attractive forces result in a big bang."

"I may have failed in algebra because nothing compares to the complex equation of your beauty."

"Aww, that's so sweet! Looks like your good works are paying off in spades. What’s the next good deed on your agenda?"

"Is your name Google? Because my heart says you're the most searched result for 'she's denying she's sexy'."

Old friend and I started talking again always loved her for a long time

Did you know when you bend a piece of metal the atoms in the metal release kinetic energy and the result is the metal heating up because the atoms are moving same as the body when it moves it releases kinetic energy. And when I talk to you, you bend my rigid heart back into shape and heats up everytime I talk to you

"If tomorrow's a nightmare, let me steal your dreams tonight—you're far too beautiful to wake up alone."

"Is your smile a remedy? Because after this election, I could use a little heat to brighten my day!"

"Studying, huh? Bet you're aceing it just like I aced my 'Understanding Women 101' class. Spoiler: it's a self-taught course with questionable results."

Wow, I can’t wait to see the final result! You must have a magical touch—creativity looks great on you. 😊

"Are you a psychologist? Because every time I see you, my heart races faster than my lab results!"

"Thank you! It's a result of seeing life through a lens of positivity. It might be contagious, want to catch it?"

"Amidst all the chaos, your kindness shines brighter than any election result. Can I share a moment with you?"

Did it hurt when you fell from Google heaven? Because you're the top result for beauty.

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I've been searching for, plus you're my number one result."

"Is your name Google? Because I've been searching for a unique masterpiece, and you're the best result."

"Easy! Just send me a stethoscope and we can have a virtual check-up. Warning: results may vary based on my love for pizza!"

"Just like Geometry, I've measured my chances and they all point towards wanting to know your angles."

"I may have failed in algebra, but when it comes to your curves, I know there's no better equation."

"If the world feels heavy tomorrow, can I be the reason you wake up smiling instead?"

Did it take forever to create you? Because the end result is truly beautiful like you.

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for. Sorry, did I just crash your search results?"

"Is your name Google? Because you've got all the thiccest search results in my heart."

"You're too vibrant to be stressed! Remember, results don't define us, but how we face them does."

"Believe me, I don't need a Google search when your smile is my favorite result."

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for... like the result of tonight's football match."

Are you a tectonic plate?

Cause I'd love to ram into you with force resulting in tremendous friction and heat.

"If tomorrow feels heavy, let’s make today lighter together—your smile is the sunshine I need right now!"

"Do you believe in love at first manicure, or should I paint my nails again for better results?"

I’m glad I turned off my VPN because I just found a hot single in my area.

*tip: use this when you know they are hot, single, and in your area for better results.

If beauty were an algorithm, you'd be ranked number one on my search results.

"Just like how I aced geometry, I can't help but "measure" the perfect curves of your smile."

"Well, I must say, making you flustered is unintentional, but if falling for me is the result, I wouldn't mind."

"Are you a lab result? Because my heart's in perfect condition since I met you."

"Is your name Google? Because every time I see you, my search results say 'boobs ahyee'."

"Hey, let's not stress about things we can't control! You're vibrant and brilliant, any result won't define you."

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for, and I’d love to explore those results together."

Just got the test results for your heart, looks like you need some loooove.

"Are you a dream? Because I’d rather get lost in your eyes than wake up to reality tomorrow."

Can you rate this direct message that i just used

Hello would you like to talk about schrodinger's wave equation. i used this equation to determine that there's equal chances of you replying or not replying to this message, surely we will know the result once i hit the send button. that's the rule of quantum mechanics

"Is your name Google? Because every time you're missing me, it feels like the best search result."

I got swabbed

I got swabbed today and the results came back positive.

Positive that I'm deeply in love with you

"Is your name Google? Because I've been searching for a keyword called cute and you're the only result!"

"Is your name Google? Because I was doubtful I'm the right one, but you've got all the search results saying 'yes'."

"Is your major Fitness? Because your body is clearly a result of years of dedicated study and disciplined practice."

"If the world’s ending tomorrow, can I at least spend tonight getting lost in your captivating eyes?"

"They say madness is doing the same thing and expecting different results, but with you, it's a pleasure worth repeating."

"I've always been quick to pick up on things - a result of my curiosity. What do you say we explore our common interests further?"

"I may have failed algebra but I've definitely passed in finding a stunning beauty like you."

"I'd gladly help clean my uniform if you're the one sticking around to admire the end result."

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for...and the results are breathtakingly attractive."

"You're like a complex algebra problem, I failed to solve you, but can't stop trying."

"Are you a magic spell? Because waking up next to you would make any election result worth it."

"Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I've been searching for, and you're my top result tonight."

"Is your name Google, Vedrana? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for, even the results in Croatian."

If you were a Google result, you'd be at the top of my search history.

"You’re the spark I need to forget the chaos; want to explore some delightful distractions together?"

"If tomorrow feels heavy, let me be the sunshine that brightens your day. You're too lovely to feel down."

"Are you a lab sample? Because you've got all the right qualities for a perfect match in my results."

"Well, I must say your hard work is truly paying off; you’re a delightful surprise! What's been your favorite project lately?"

"Is your name Google? Because you have everything I've been searching for, and some seriously sexy search results."

Hey baby, did it hurt?

"Did what hurt?" (*Rolls eyes*)

When Abraham Lincoln was ASSASINATED?!?!?


Note:
switching from a normal tone of voice to yelling the last word is mandatory

Usage:
1) as a dropoff line to retaliate when they act in an insulting way, in order to relish in their typically hilarious reactions of disgust when you'd normally walk away
2) to satisfy your hands/slap fetish, because that is a very likely result
3) ???

Hit me with your best pickup lines mah dudes

I’ll try em out and post the results here if you’d like.

Under what conditions do you think it's impossible to approach?

...assuming you're thinking of getting a good result.

Hey girl

Do you want to be the Bonnie to my Clyde without the whole interstate crime spree resulting in our grizzly deaths thing?

A great pick-up line, with great results

"I want to release my happy time into you"

Under what conditions do you think it'a impossible to approach?

...assuming you think it is possible to get a good result.

Do you know Google ranks search results by link popularity? You rank as my number one because all my links point to you.

Make a passing comment about your meeting being the result of Divine intervention or Divine appointment.