"Is it a crime to steal your heart? Because if so, I'm ready for you to cuff me!"

"Are you from the FBI? Because your presence just made my heart go into witness protection!"

"Is it a crime to fall in love? If so, I'm ready for you to put me under surveillance."

"Is your name FBI? Because you've just uncovered my top secret—I'm totally into you!"

"Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I'm feeling a strong connection, even though my intentions aren't encrypted."

"Well, usually the FBI storm in to confiscate my alien teleportation device. It really puts a damper on dessert."

"FBI? Fantastic, Beautiful, & Irresistible. That's the real code you're enforcing tonight."

"Being handsome is a crime, and Leon, your looks make you a most wanted in my heart's FBI list!"

If being adorable was a crime, you'd be on the FBI's most wanted list by now.

"Are you an FBI agent? Because your beauty is so classified, it should be my job to investigate."

Can I be your FBI agent?

Cause I’d love to stare into your eyes all day long

"If you work with the FBI, then I must be a case, because I can't seem to stop getting caught in your gaze."

If beauty were a crime, you'd be on the FBI's Most Wanted list – hot enough to make any statue jealous.

"Working with the FBI, huh? No need to be shy, your smile already stole my attention and suspicions."

"Are you an FBI agent? Because you just decoded the mystery of my heart’s secret file!"

"Can I be your training manual? Because every page in my book is about falling for you."

"Haven't you been trained to follow leads? Well, here's one – my heart's pointing straight at you."

"Are you an FBI agent? Because my heart's under investigation, and it’s a major case of 'attraction'!"

"FBI agent, huh? Well, it's a crime not to let me explore the mystery that is you."

"Do you work for the FBI? Because you just captured my attention and I’d like to file a report!"

Hey girl, are you an fbi agent?

Cause i want you to tie me in a basement

"If beauty was a crime, you'd be on the FBI's most wanted list."

"Are you a classified FBI file? Because I can't seem to stop investigating your smile."

Hey girl are you the FBI?

Cause I want you to enter my house and violently subdue me

"Are you an FBI agent? Because you just arrested my heart for stealing a glance at your beauty."

[TERRIBLE] The FBI wants to steal my p*nis

Can i hide it in side you???

"Is it a crime to steal your heart? Because if so, I might need an FBI agent like you to investigate."

Baby, my drones aren't the only thing that have heat a seeking missile..

Hey looks like your now in the FBI watchlist.

The Female Body Inspector watchlist. (It came to me in a dream).

You girl, are you a major criminal?

Because I'm with the FBI, and you just made the most wanted list.

If being sexy was a crime,

you would be on FBI's most wanted list.

Not to make it obvious that I like you or anything

But I'm really jealous of the FBI man that gets to watch you through your camera

Hey girl call me the FBI

And I order you to *open up*

How do you kill 5 hours in Rio, if you don't samba?

I bet I can guess your weight, birth sign, mother's maiden name, SSN and your car's VIN

I couldn't help but hear your phone conversation with your sister yesterday & I think I can be that kind of man for you!

I feel like I've known you forever, or at least since the Bush administration

I feel like I've known you since you got that cellphone for your 15th birthday.

I flagged you at first sight

I knew you'd be here.

I know exactly where you have been all my life.

I know this is a little straight forward, but I feel like I already know everything about you.

I probably shouldn't tell you this, but you've got malware on your laptop and some creep from Idaho is jerking off to you through your webcam

I think he got the point.

I was going through your email and noticed you like cat too!

I was going through your inbox and thought maybe we could be together!

I will ALWAYS have my eyes on you, darling...! My love for you is unconstitutional.

I'd never cheat on you like your boyfriend does with your BFF

I'm incredibly rich. Here's a new iPhone 5 with my number in it. Call me sometime.

I'm so honored to meet you. I'm kind of a big fan, I've read all of your e-mails

Let me buy you dinner, I know you don't have much in your bank account.

Lovely dress, darling, but the one you tried on before you left home looked even better.

Shocking. Positively shocking.

Single male, attentive listener. Like to intercept communications, bodily fluid from international women.

Take a giant step for mankind.

That's quite a nice little nothing you're almost wearing. I approve.

Then how about a nightcap on the company? My company.

We understand you so much better than the guy you're with now.

What's a nice girl like you doing at the corner of 5th and Guadalupe avenue at 8:37pm?

When one is in Egypt, one should dive deeply into its treasures.

Whoa... you look way sexier than indicated in your metadata

Would you...be interested in a night cap

You didn't think I'd miss this performance, did you?

You don't think I enjoyed what we did this evening, do you? What I did tonight was for Queen and country!

You look way prettier in person than through your webcam.

You must be the Constitution, because I want to violate you.

You're free Friday. Would you like to have dinner?

Your credit score is so fine, I wish I could co-sign a car loan with you all night long.

Your parents must have been clams, but I've already cracked you.

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
NSA watching you

Do you believe in love at first sight, or did I misunderstand your search history?

Message from 672-739-5463 ( NSA-s**...-LINE ) You left your car keys on the kitchen counter and your panties are on backwards.

Could you help me find my stationary?

Being broke sucks. Let me buy you a drink

Baby, my drones aren't the only thing that have heat a seeking missle..

Baby your Verizon line ain't the only thing I'm trying to tap

Are you tired? Because you've been running through my chat log reviews all day.

Are you the CIA? Because I don't think the president gave you permission to torture me with those good looks.

Are you on FBI’s most wanted? Cause you’re at the top of my list.

Girl, I can't wait to violate your privacy in real life.

Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position

Hey what are you wearing?

Just kidding I'm your FBI agent and can see you right now haha!

Are you on FBI's most wanted? Because you're at the top of my list.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your pin number 6852.

My love for you is unconstitutional

May Day, where have you been? I've been waiting for you . . . to take care of me, personally.

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven because there is no tracking data to indicate how you arrived at this location.

Just relax while we unzip your files.

I'm a great listener

Hey baby, I'd do anything to get with you... like lowering your ex's credit score, wire tapping your boss and taking you off the no fly list

Hey baby, your buns are on fire, you've left your oven on

Hey baby... what are you wearing? Just kidding, I'm watching you.

Hey, can I have your number? Just kidding. Already got it

Hey, I've never met you, and this is crazy, but I stole your number, so answer baby!

Hi there beautiful. Can I buy you the drink your last one night stand got you?

Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself. I've been watching you for a looooong time