"Is it a crime to steal your heart? Because if so, I'm ready for you to cuff me!"

"Is it a crime to fall in love? If so, I'm ready for you to put me under surveillance."

"Are you from the FBI? Because your presence just made my heart go into witness protection!"

"Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I'm feeling a strong connection, even though my intentions aren't encrypted."

Is that a Wi-Fi enabled device in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

"FBI? Fantastic, Beautiful, & Irresistible. That's the real code you're enforcing tonight."

"Being handsome is a crime, and Leon, your looks make you a most wanted in my heart's FBI list!"

"Hey, is your name 'Evidence'? Cause I can't seem to get rid of the thought of you, despite my right to remain silent."

Can I be your FBI agent?

Cause I’d love to stare into your eyes all day long

Do you work for the FBI?

Otherwise it's illegal to torture me with such an appearance

"If you work with the FBI, then I must be a case, because I can't seem to stop getting caught in your gaze."

Call me FBI

Cause I want backdoor access.

"Can I be your training manual? Because every page in my book is about falling for you."

"Haven't you been trained to follow leads? Well, here's one – my heart's pointing straight at you."

"FBI agent, huh? Well, it's a crime not to let me explore the mystery that is you."

Hey girl, are you an fbi agent?

Cause i want you to tie me in a basement

Hey girl are you the FBI?

Cause I want you to enter my house and violently subdue me

[TERRIBLE] The FBI wants to steal my p*nis

Can i hide it in side you???

"Are you an FBI agent? Because you just arrested my heart for stealing a glance at your beauty."

"Is it a crime to steal your heart? Because if so, I might need an FBI agent like you to investigate."

Baby, my drones aren't the only thing that have heat a seeking missile..

Girl, I haven't had a crush this bad since your mom got her first iphone.

Smile, I unlocked your webcam!

If being sexy was a crime,

you would be on FBI's most wanted list.

Hey looks like your now in the FBI watchlist.

The Female Body Inspector watchlist. (It came to me in a dream).

You girl, are you a major criminal?

Because I'm with the FBI, and you just made the most wanted list.

Hey girl call me the FBI

And I order you to *open up*

Not to make it obvious that I like you or anything

But I'm really jealous of the FBI man that gets to watch you through your camera

Hey baby, I'd do anything to get with you... like lowering your ex's credit score, wire tapping your boss and taking you off the no fly list

Hey baby... what are you wearing? Just kidding, I'm watching you.

Hey, can I have your number? Just kidding. Already got it

Hey, I've never met you, and this is crazy, but I stole your number, so answer baby!

Hi there beautiful. Can I buy you the drink your last one night stand got you?

Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself. I've been watching you for a looooong time

How do you kill 5 hours in Rio, if you don't samba?

I bet I can guess your weight, birth sign, mother's maiden name, SSN and your car's VIN

I couldn't help but hear your phone conversation with your sister yesterday & I think I can be that kind of man for you!

I feel like I've known you forever, or at least since the Bush administration

I feel like I've known you since you got that cellphone for your 15th birthday.

I flagged you at first sight

I knew you'd be here.

I know exactly where you have been all my life.

I know this is a little straight forward, but I feel like I already know everything about you.

I probably shouldn't tell you this, but you've got malware on your laptop and some creep from Idaho is jerking off to you through your webcam

I think he got the point.

I was going through your email and noticed you like cat too!

I was going through your inbox and thought maybe we could be together!

I will ALWAYS have my eyes on you, darling...! My love for you is unconstitutional.

I'd never cheat on you like your boyfriend does with your BFF

I'm incredibly rich. Here's a new iPhone 5 with my number in it. Call me sometime.

I'm so honored to meet you. I'm kind of a big fan, I've read all of your e-mails

Let me buy you dinner, I know you don't have much in your bank account.

Lovely dress, darling, but the one you tried on before you left home looked even better.

Shocking. Positively shocking.

Single male, attentive listener. Like to intercept communications, bodily fluid from international women.

Take a giant step for mankind.

That's quite a nice little nothing you're almost wearing. I approve.

Then how about a nightcap on the company? My company.

We understand you so much better than the guy you're with now.

What's a nice girl like you doing at the corner of 5th and Guadalupe avenue at 8:37pm?

When one is in Egypt, one should dive deeply into its treasures.

Whoa... you look way sexier than indicated in your metadata

Would you...be interested in a night cap

You didn't think I'd miss this performance, did you?

You don't think I enjoyed what we did this evening, do you? What I did tonight was for Queen and country!

You look way prettier in person than through your webcam.

You must be the Constitution, because I want to violate you.

You're free Friday. Would you like to have dinner?