You gonna call my d**... James, cuz it looks like a Rocket when it HARDENS.

"I'm basically a Walmart version of James Bond with better jokes, less action, and absolutely no martinis."

"They call me James...James Bond, in the online dating world. But I'm still waiting for my license to thrill."

"They call me the Monopoly King, but you can call me James. And you?"

James Bond: Who are you? p**... Galore: My name is p**... Galore. James Bond: I must be dreaming

"Do I look like Mr. Serious to you? Wait, you can't see me... well, imagine a cross between Mr. Bean and James Bond."

"Haha, your messages are as cryptic as a spy code. Maybe you're James Bond undercover?"

Just like James Joyce, I know how to make a girl go, “yes I said yes I will Yes.”

"Married and blessed with curves? Sounds like a quite intriguing combination. It's like a James Bond film - full of twists and turns."

"Well, my best friend is a secret even James Bond can't uncover. Let's talk about you, what's your favorite mystery?"

I’m not James Monroe, but I can give you an era of good feelings.

Strawberry Fields: "If you attempt to flee, I will arrest you, drop you off at the jail, and take you to the plane in chains, understand?" James Bond: "Perfectly. After you." Mathis: "I think she has handcuffs." James Bond: "I hope so."

"Ah, my girlfriend? You must've mistaken me with James Bond, because I'm currently a free agent and focused on intriguing conversations like ours."

Major Anya Amasova: "That it's very important to have a positive mental attitude." James Bond: "Nothing more practical than that?" Major Anya Amasova: "Food is also very important." James Bond: "Mm hmm. What else?" Major Anya Amasova: "When necessary, shared bodily warmth." James Bond: "That's the part I like."

Domino: "How do you know my friends call me Domino?" James Bond: "It's on the bracelet on your ankle." Domino: "So . . . what sharp little eyes you've got." James Bond: "Wait till you get to my teeth."

"Nice to meet you, Regina! I'm James Bond's lesser-known cousin, mildly interesting Bond, ageless and timeless!"

You can call me James Madison

Because I’ll give you a whole era of good feelings.

Hey, are you Team rocket?

Because Ill be the jessie to your james
(Third wheel) meowth, thats right!

James Bond: "I'll tell you at dinner."
Jill Masterson: "Where?"
James Bond: "Oh, I know the best place in town."

James Bond: "I'm still not quite sure how good you are."
Jinx: "I am so good."
James Bond: "Especially when you're bad."

James Bond: "Well, my dear, I take it you spend quite a lot of time in the saddle."
Jenny Flex: "Yes, I love an early morning ride."
James Bond: "Well, I'm an early riser myself."

James Bond: "Well, Tracy, next time play it safe and stand on five."
Tracy: "People who want to stay alive play it safe."
James Bond: "Please, stay alive! At least for tonight."

James Bond: “Now put your clothes back on, and I'll buy you an ice cream.”

James Bond: [After Dr. Holly Goodhead kisses him] "What was that for?"
Dr. Holly Goodhead: "For saving my life."
James Bond: "Remind me to do it more often!"

James Bond: [in bed with Christmas Jones] I was wrong about you.
Dr. Christmas Jones: Yeah, how so?
James Bond: I thought Christmas only comes once a year.

James Bond: [in the shower together] "I like you better without your Beretta."
Sévérine: "I feel naked without it."

James Bond: You don't think I enjoyed what we did this evening, do you? What I did tonight was for King and country! You don't think it gave me any pleasure, do you?
Fiona Volpe: But of course, I forgot your ego, Mr. Bond. James Bond, who only has to make love to a woman and she starts to hear heavenly choirs singing. She repents and immediately turns to the side of right and virtue, but not this one. What a blow it must have been, you having a failure.
James Bond: Well, you can't win them all.

James Bond: You're not my type.
Girl: Why, cause I have half a brain?
James Bond: No, cause you're single.

Bond, James Bond. How's your dady now?

Tatiana Romanova: I think my mouth is too big!
James Bond: It's just the right size... for me, that is.

Tell me, Miss Trench, do you play any other games?

Major Anya Amasova: "That it's very important to have a positive mental attitude."
James Bond: "Nothing more practical than that?"
Major Anya Amasova: "Food is also very important."
James Bond: "Mm hmm. What else?"
Major Anya Amasova: "When necessary, shared bodily warmth."
James Bond: "That's the part I like."

Marie: "Is there something I can do for you?"
James Bond: "As a matter of fact, there is. There's something I'd like you to get off your chest."

Mayday: Someone will take care of you.
James Bond: Oh! You'll see to that personally, will you?

Miss Taro: "What should I say to an invitation from a strange gentleman?"
James Bond: "You should say yes."

Oh, the things I do for England.

Oh, the things I do for my country!

Plenty O'Toole: "Hi, I'm Plenty."
James Bond: "But of course you are."

Russian Lady Agent: "But James, I need you!"
Bond: "So does England!"

Sir Donald Munger: "Tell me, Commander, how far does your expertise extend into the field of diamonds?"
James Bond: "Well, hardest substance found in nature, they cut glass, suggest marriages, I suppose it replaced the dog as the girl's best friend. That's about it."

Solitaire: "Is there time before we leave for lesson number three?"
James Bond: "Of course. There's no sense going out half-cocked."

Solitaire: "James, what are you doing?"
James Bond: "Just testing an old adage: 'Unlucky at cards . . . '"

Strawberry Fields: "If you attempt to flee, I will arrest you, drop you off at the jail, and take you to the plane in chains, understand?"
James Bond: "Perfectly. After you."
Mathis: "I think she has handcuffs."
James Bond: "I hope so."

Vesper Lynd: "I can't resist waking you. Every time I do, you look at me as if you hadn't seen me in years. Makes me feel reborn."
James Bond: "If you had just been born, wouldn't you be naked?"

Vesper Lynd: "If the only thing left of you was your smile and your little finger, you'd still be more of a man than anyone I've ever known."
James Bond: "That's because you know what I can do with my little finger . . . "

Log cabin girl: "Oh James, I cannot find the words."
Bond: "Well, let me try and enlarge your vocabulary."

Hello. Yes, I'm British.

Miss Caruso: "Such a delicate touch."
Bond: "Sheer magnetism, darling."

Wai-Lin: "They're looking for us, James."
James Bond: "Let's stay under cover."

When one is in Egypt, one should delve deeply into its treasures.

Good day darling, how would you like to bond? James Bond

At Running Back… Is his face on the McDonalds menu? Cause I’m lovin it … from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers… Mike James!

Bond....James Bond

As a matter of fact, I *am* Edward James Olmos.

As a matter of fact, I *am* Edward James Olmos. (Zombie)

A martini. Shaken, not stirred.

Baby your Verizon line ain't the only thing I'm tryna tap

Bond: "That gun, it looks more fitting for a woman."
Largo: "You know much about guns, Mr. Bond?"
Bond: "No, but I know a little about women."

Della Leiter: "Oh, James, would you mind? Felix is still in the study and we've got to cut this cake."
James Bond: "I'll do anything for a woman with a knife."

Domino: "How do you know my friends call me Domino?"
James Bond: "It's on the bracelet on your ankle."
Domino: "So . . . what sharp little eyes you've got."
James Bond: "Wait till you get to my teeth."

Eve: "That was hardly my best shot."
James Bond: "I'm not sure I could survive your best."
Eve: "I doubt you'll get the chance."

Good day darling, how would you liek to bond?

Helga Brandt: "I've got you now."
James Bond: "Well, enjoy yourself."

Honey Ryder: Looking for shells?
James Bond: No. I'm just looking.

Hotel Receptionist: "I have a message for you."
James Bond: "I think you just delivered it."

If I was James Bond's martini, how would you want me? Shaken or stirred?

Silva: "There's a first time for everything — eh, Mr. Bond?"
James Bond: "What makes you think it's my first time?"