Are you Netflix? because i think you're a complete waste of time and you get me bored and I'm done!

You have the perfect face for the radio.

Were you in the Boy Scouts? Because you tied my heart in a knot. Also, you look like a boy.

Girl, are you a man or a woman? Cuz you got me in a trance.

You look exactly like a "before" picture.

You don't sweat much for a fat girl.

You need to stop raising your standards or you'll be single so stop complaining. Will you go out with me?

They say laughter is the best medicine, i guess your face can cure the world.

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you never use it.

Your daddy must have been a thief, because he stole your beauty and gave it to that girl over there.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... and landed on your face?

You are so sweet, it made your teeth rot.

I'm drunk and you're still ugly.

Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me want to vomit in your face!

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because your pants are big enough to fit one.

I'd take you home but you wouldn't fit in my car.

"Just like the way you challenge me, how about we turn those insults into sparks tonight?"

"Well, it sounds like you're not afraid to keep things real! I appreciate honesty, so long as it comes with kindness, too."

Girl, you're mildly attractive. I almost had to do a single take!

I got so many airheads for Halloween yesterday, the only one I'm missing is you.

"I appreciate honest feedback, but let's keep the vibe positive. What's your favorite way to spend a weekend?"

"Well, I guess we both value honesty then. Maybe that's our first common ground?"

"I admire your straightforwardness! Keeps things interesting, doesn't it?"

"Your beauty should be outlawed, it's criminally stunning."

"Ah, a straight shooter! I respect that. Just remember: sugar helps medicine go down easier."

"Insults speak more about the speaker than the listener. So, do you prefer adventure or cozy evenings?"

"Oh, a spirited one, I see! Guides can lead to interesting detours or new adventures. Where's your spirit leading you today?"

"It's amazing how you manage to look so beautiful; even when you're throwing insults my way!"

"Bold and unapologetic, I like it! But remember, a little sugar mixed with spice makes everything nice."

"Did you just insult me? Because you've clearly stolen my attention and I want it back."

You look like that one really famous person. What's his name? Steven Tyler that's it!

"You're so beautiful, even your flaws are jealous of you."

"Well, if you didn't want to marry someone as irresistibly hot as me, why did you put a ring on it?"

Are you related to Jesus? Because you're pretty good with getting nailed.

"Are you a dictionary? Because you add meaning to my life, even when we argue."

"You say you shouldn't have married me, but your eyes can't seem to stop admiring my beauty."

"Looks like we've got a feisty one! Let's see if your humor matches your spunk, ever tried stand-up comedy?"

"Guided or not, our banter is intriguing. It's like a dance - some steps guided, some improvised. What's your next move?"

"I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true, even the ones where I'm not perfect."

"You say you shouldn't have married me, but why can't you resist my irresistible mystery?"

"I appreciate your honesty. Let's focus on what we can learn and enjoy about each other, shall we?"

Your daddy must’ve been a pirate, cuz he had some great booty. Too bad you’re a hideous sea monster.

"Well, I appreciate honesty! Just remember, good conversation is like a dance, it takes two to tango."

"Can we play a game? It's called 'how quickly can you fall for my witty insults and irresistible smile'."

"Sounds intriguing! Just keep in mind, even words have their own charm and etiquette."

There's only one problem with your face, I can see it.

Hey baby, did it hurt?

"Did what hurt?" (*Rolls eyes*)

When Abraham Lincoln was ASSASINATED?!?!?


Note:
switching from a normal tone of voice to yelling the last word is mandatory

Usage:
1) as a dropoff line to retaliate when they act in an insulting way, in order to relish in their typically hilarious reactions of disgust when you'd normally walk away
2) to satisfy your hands/slap fetish, because that is a very likely result
3) ???

Is it hot in here? Because you're disgustingly sweaty.

You’re the most beautiful girl/guy I know, and that’s the least interesting thing about you.

Not exactly original but works great on those who can understand its a great compliment. Some people take it as an insult, it is my advice that you shouldn’t try in the first place with them. Lol.

This storm didn't match up to the one that was in my pants when I saw you.