Do you believe in love at first sight, 'cause, if so, I'll grab my bifocals.

I can't remember what kiss is. Care to help me remember?

You, me and the defribrillator, baby.

No, I didn't have a s**...; I was actually winking at you.

Check my prostate if I'm wrong, but do I know you from somewhere?

Wanna judge these reckless teenagers together?

Come here often? I seriously can't remember.

Your teeth look great, but they'd look even better in a jar next to my bed.

By me a drink and I'll take out my teeth for a good time.

You don't look a day over 69.

I liverspotted you from across the bar?

Did it hurt when you fell from the sky or have I finally made it to Heaven. If that's the case I didn't feel a thing!

Don't worry I won't bite... No teeth!

Why don't you and I share a sunset near the local pharmacy?

Hey, can i get a ride to the pharmacy?

I think you dropped your teeth.

I've fallen for you and I can't get up.

You're never too old to turn new tricks...

May I take you to dinner? Next Monday would be best because that's when my social security check arrives.

Hey babe, wanna come over to my place and compare prescription drug plans?

Where'd you get that pretty MedicAlert bracelet?

Your scooter or mine?

Hey, can I borrow your Hearing Aid? My last girlfriend disappeared without returning mine!

Either my pacemaker just shot craps or I'm in love.

You and my cardiac stent have something in common, my heart needs you.

Hey, I just got my new teeth. Want to join me for dinner so I can test them out?

Is that a Depends under your pants or are you just glad to see me?

I'll meet you for dinner. Does noon work?

Just gotta new hip replacement. How's about you and me take it for spin?

Hey baby, I'm rich and probably going to die soon.

I'd walker with you to the ends of the earth.

Did you fall from heaven and you can't get up?

Want to blow my grankids' inheritances?

Everyday will be like our first day together cause I won't remember any of this tomorrow.

Wanna try out my new hip?

Im 80 but i dont feel a day over 79.

You remind me of my false teeth, cos I'd love to take you out for the night.

Hey beautiful, they still let me drive. Wanna go for a ride?

Do you want to get dinner with me? Must be between 4-4:30.

Baby, you must be dentures because I need to take you out every night.

I've got a Victrola back in my room. Wanna hear my Sinatra record?

Your Nursing home or mine?

I got a pill I could take back at my place, if you could tell me where my place is.

None of my children lives with me.

Your hospice bed or mine?

You’re so sweet, you’re giving my dentures cavities.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and broke your hip?

I got a bottle of wine and a new pack of Depends in my scooter if you're feelin' frisky.

What's a nice girl like you doing in... wait, where am I?

You must be a garden, cause I'm digging you.

What's a nice girl like you doing in a nursing home like this?

I might be a retired photographer, but I can still picture us together.

I got a pension and I'm not afraid to use it.

My arteries aren't the only things that have hardened.

I'll hold your teeth if you would hold my cane!

Getting lucky usually means finding my car in the parking lot, but tonight you can change that.

When i look at you, my arteries aren’t the only things that harden.

I wouldn't mind seeing you for the rest of my life.

Your senior assisted living facility or mine?

How would you like to help me feel like a kid again.

I'm retired, so you know I have the time to please you.

Is that your catheter line...or are you just pleased to see me?

Your name must be Alzheimer, because the Kaiser stole my pudding...

Is that a shattered hip, or are you just happy to see me?

Hey baby, is that a urinary drainage bag in your pocket, or are you glad to see me?

Ohh baby...you're making my arteries hard.

Sit in my lap and let's talk about the first thing that pops up, or until my legs fall asleep.