Top 43 Toilet Pick Up lines

Following is our collection of smooth Toilet chat up lines and openingszinnen working better than reddit. They include killer conversation starters and useful comebacks for situations when you are burned, guaranteed to work as best Tinder openers.

1. How much toilet tissue do you use?

2. Did it hurt?

   When you fell from someone's ass and hit the toilet, you piece of shit

3. Are you a toilet?

   Because you look like shit today.

4. Baby, do you need toilet paper?

   Because I could be your Prince Charmin.

5. Are you a toilet in a burning church?

   Because holy shit you’re hot!

6. Your eyes are so beautifully blue!

   Just like my toilet cleaner

7. I wish I was a piece of toilet paper..

   So I could touch your butt.

8. Damn, girl are you toilet paper?

   Because I need all of you for absolutely no reason.

9. Do you need toilet paper?

   Cause I wanna be your Prince Charmin.

10. Hey baby, I can make a single roll of toilet paper last a whole year!

Funny toilet pickup lines

Hey Girl, do you need toilet paper?
Because I can be your Prince Charmin

Damn girl, are you coronavirus?

Cause you got me using more toilet paper ;)

I don’t get why girls are stocking up on toilet paper

When they can literally sit in my face for free🤷‍️

Are you toilet wine

Because the guard has been up my ass all day and I'm still thirsty..
This was meant to be horrible.. I spent so much time in this sub looking for valuable pickup lines and now I'm just a cynical asshole! Fuck you all cept Tyrone.. he cool.

Are you toilet paper?

Cause I can’t get enough of you

Want you more than toilet-paper

Roses are red
Introverts would like the quarantine

Hey honey
Be my valentine?



(Please tell me the pronunciation is "kwaren-tyn")

Did you just sit in a pile of shit?
Because my dick is soft like toilet paper and I want to wipe your ass with it.

Are you a toilet?

Because I want to explode on you.

I wish I was a toilet

"Why?"
That way you could sit on me

Are you a roll of toilet paper?

Cause everybody is fighting for you.

Are you toilet paper?

Cuz your exactly what I need

Edit: alternate line: cuz I see you then your gone

Baby you are like toilet paper.

I wish you can last forever

I’ve run out of toilet paper

Can I use you instead

Are you a toilet?

Because I want to sit on you for an hour

Are you a toilet?

Cause I wanna take a shit in you.

'If I had the monopoly on you, I'd be sent straight to jail' and more awful ones I thought of... (If any of these have been done before, I didnt re do them consciously)

'Do you believe in love at first sight?, how bout in a van in the dark'

'looks like you're bored, well I'm game'

'I can take you to a place where clothes are 100% off'

'It must be dark in here because I wanna bump uglies'

'Girl you must be illegal, coz my parole officer says I need to stop following you'

'If beauty was a drug, I would be sniffing you all night long'

'If you were a pageant queen, you would be Miss'd the last bus'

'Girl you must be tired, coz running in duct tape is hard'

'Do you believe in love at first sight? how bout in a van in the dark'

'Your face is like a toilet, it makes me flush'

Are you flush toilet?

Coz you take away all my shit.

Hey girl, are you a toilet?

Because you're full of crap.

Dang girl, are you my ballsack hair

Because I want to sit on the toilet for 30 minutes, and stare at you

Are you a toilet plunger?

Because your always bringing old shit back up

Are you a toilet?

Cause I wanna sit on you

Did it hurt?

When you fell from someone’s ass into the toilet eater you piece of shit??

Am I toilet bowl?

Because I want you to shit on me.

When we sit on the toilet at the same time, we create a long tube that connects your mouth to mine

We could also skip the tube and make a direct connection.

Are you a toilet?

Because I really wanna pull my pants down in front of yoy