I like my women like I like my whiskey

12 years old and mixed up with coke.


Just Jokes btw... maybe there’s a different sub for these kind of jokes that I’m not aware of though.

Hey, would you like to get to know a joke?

Her: “Yes”

*writes down my number and hands it to her

Hey girl , you're exactly like my jokes!

Nobody likes you

“Life’s a joke.”

“Well if it is, it’s only funny around you.”

"Are you a race? Because with my charm, even 'speedy' wouldn't stand a chance and finish under 2 minutes."

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, I'm here to make you smile.

Haha, what are the odds?! Great minds think alike...or maybe the universe is just playing a joke on us! 😄

"Well, I might not lift you physically, but who knows? I might be able to lift your spirits with my superb lame jokes!"

"Ha, nope! The only thing I traffic is good vibes and occasional dad jokes. How's your sense of humor?"

Definitely! I’ll bring my best dad jokes; just don’t blame me if you start rolling your eyes in disbelief. Challenge accepted?

"Are you kidding me? Did you just come out of a joke book, because you've got my sense of humor on a string!"

"I'm basically a Walmart version of James Bond with better jokes, less action, and absolutely no martinis."

"Enjoying life with good people? Perfect! I’ve got a lifetime supply of dad jokes to share—trust me, it’s priceless!"

"I'd rather face a hoard of hooligans than miss the chance to chat with you! Bring it on, I'm armed with corny jokes."

Right? It's like we're both in an exclusive club of awesomeness! Membership comes with a lifetime supply of dad jokes. You in? 😄

"I'm into B.D.S.M - 'Being Devoted to Sharing M&Ms'. Care to join my sweet little obsession?"

"You need someone who can make you smile; how about I start with a joke and a coffee?"

"Are you a chair? Because every time you walk by, I'm floored by how well you support my sitting jokes."

"Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're Cu-Te, and I'd love to bond over biology!"

"Are you a race? Because when I see you, even Mr. Speed finishes in 2 minutes."

"Hey, are you a fan of BDSM too? I mean, Beautiful Dreams & Sweet Memories?"

"Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your laugh and it's the best journey I've ever taken."

"Are you a knot expert? Because my heart is in a bind, and it's clear you know the ropes of BDSM."

Eleanor: It's not a joke. I'm a legit snack.

"Are you a race car? Because when I'm with you, everything seems to finish in a speedy blur of excitement!"

Fanny, your sense of humor is contagious! I love someone who can make me laugh. Tell me a joke that never fails to crack you up.

"Your edgy humor, like cigarettes burns bright, in the dark canvas of my heart ignites light."

"Are you into BDSM too? Because I'm Breaking Down Silly Moments just to make you laugh."

"Well, I heard there was a shortage of laughter in your life, and as a certified joke-ologist, I felt it my duty to intervene!"

If I had a dollar for every time you joked about blowing up my house, we'd be rich!

"Are you a fan of BDSM too? Because I'm all about Breakfast, Dinner, Snacks n' Movies for our first date!"

"Are you into BDSM? Because I'm totally a Boy Desiring Serious Monogamy."

"Are you a turtle? Because I find myself shell-shocked by your beauty whenever I'm not napping."

"Do I love BDSM? Absolutely! B - Books, D - Dogs, S - Sunsets, M - Music. Want to explore my interests?"

"They say I missed my calling as a stand-up comedian, but don't worry, the only thing I'll be throwing are jokes!"

"Is your name Google? Because you have everything I've been searching for... and a little extra."

Did you invent the airplane? Because you just took my breath away!

"You're so attractive, even your mom jokes are hot; let's create a story better than any punchline."

"Do you believe in love at first joke? Because when I see your smile, I see my future punchline."

"Do you run a speed dating service? Because with you, it only took me two minutes to fall head over heels."

"Do you believe in love at first joke? Or should I keep making funny rizz till you fall for me?"

"Do you believe in love at first joke? Or should I tell another one?"

"Do you believe in love at first joke? Because your smile just made my heart do a stand-up routine!"

"Oh, a spontaneous woman. I like that! As long as you promise to laugh at my bad jokes, deal?"

"Sorry if my humor didn't hit the mark. You're too special, I'd hate to disappoint you with my cheesy jokes again."

"Are you a Medic? Because my heart's taking damage, and I need your healing touch to revive it."

"Are you a locksmith? Because I'm into BDSM - 'Beautifully Dedicated to Smart Metaphors' and you just unlocked my heart."

"Are you a WWII tank? Because you just rolled into my heart and knocked me out!"

"Are you a joke? Because my heart flutters like geese when I laugh at your charm."

"Well, if I give you my lunch money, how can we split the bill on our first date?"

"Oh, don't worry, I've always been a fan of lame jokes. They're like the dad jeans of humor – out of style but strangely comforting."

"Do you know what BDSM stands for in my book? Breathtaking, Delightful, Sweet, and Magnificent... just like you!"

"I'm into BDSM - Books, Dinner, Smiles and Movies. Would you care to join me?"

"Are you a anime character? Because you have me feeling some serious yaoi vibes."

"Is our friendship a joke to you? Because whenever I see you, I always end up laughing in love."

"Are you into speed dating? Because seeing you makes my heart race at 60 beats per 2 minutes!"

"You think I'm joking when I call you sexy? Even my therapist says I've got an acute case of 'you-really-sexy-itis'."

"Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in the maze of your dad jokes!"

"Girl, if you're bulking up, then I must be falling hard because your strength isn't just physical, it's captivating."

"Are we in a race? Because with just one look from you, I'm already reaching the finish line."

"I love a little BDSM: Books, Dogs, Star Wars, and Mathematics. Wanna get nerdy with me?"

Right? Gotta bring the good vibes! If you were a comedian, what would your signature joke be? 😄

"Just like my favorite joke, your smile brightens up my day and your beauty leaves me speechless."

You must be a stand-up comedian because every time I see you, my stomach hurts from laughing.

Dark humor can be a hit or miss, right? I'd love to hear your funniest joke that toes the line!

"Some dislike mom jokes, but with your intelligence, I'd prefer to flirt with our combined wit and allure."

"Just like a goose chase, getting your attention is thrilling; unlike a bee sting, your beauty is intoxicating."

Haha, you caught me! But with those baby blues of yours, I couldn't resist a little teasing. 😉

Excuse me, but I think the stars are jealous tonight knowing they can't compete with your beauty.

"Are you a corn field? Because every time I hear your jokes, my ears just pop with laughter."

Are you a squirrel? Because you're about to go nuts for me!

Are you a magician? Because whenever I see your smile, you make my jokes disappear.

Haha, no worries! Kidnapping is so last season. I prefer to charm you with my cheesy jokes instead. 😉

"Well, the only thing I'd hate is if your lame jokes are lamer than mine. It's a tough competition, you know!"

"Are you a race? Because every time I look at you, even the most 'speedy' men finish in record time."

"Hi, my heart is like BDSM - Beats Dramatically Seeing Magnificence, especially when it's you I'm looking at!"

You'll never be bored with me around, I promise. And that playful side of yours, it's definitely turning up the heat.

"Lol back at you! You're quite the charmer, aren't you? I bet it's not just your jokes that are irresistible."

Haha, I get what you mean! Well, let's make our own inside jokes that will always keep us laughing together.

"Hey there, do you know that BDSM for me means 'Beautifully Dedicated to Sharing M&Ms'? Wanna join in my passion?"

"I may not always understand a joke, but when it comes to you, I'm serious about how beautiful you are."

Did you invent the shovel? Because I'm digging your vibe, even if it's a bit filthy.

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again...with my Halloween mask on?"

"Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost... in those eyes and my love for BDSM... that stands for 'Beautifully Divine Smile Moment'."

"I may not know how to take a joke, but I do know I'm seriously falling for your charm and grace."

Haha, my pleasure! I accept payment in the form of cheesy pickup lines and dad jokes. Got any? 😉

"Well, I'm no married woman, but I can promise a lifetime commitment to bad puns and dad jokes."

"Hi there! That flower’s nice, but I bet it can’t compete with my impressive collection of dad jokes. Want to hear one? 🌼😄"

"Are you into BDSM too? 'Books, Dinner, Sleepovers, Movies.' That's my kind of wild night."

"You see through my tactics, but can you resist a guy who's willing to try again?"

"I must say, I totally love BDSM - Bringing Daily Smiles & Mirth. How about we practice that together?"

"Are you a reaper? Cause every time I look at you, I feel like I'm dying... of laughter!"

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

"Darling, your beauty outshines every blonde joke I know. How about we create a love story instead?"

"Are you a stopwatch? Because whenever I see you, even 'speedy' rounds seem to end in two minutes."

"Well, if you're as cool as the weather, we both could use a witty joke to melt the ice!"

"Before you hit block, remember my jokes - they're bigger, bolder, and cause fewer backaches than your bra size!"

"Are you a magician? Because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears...into laughter from my jokes!"

Do you have a name, or can I call you mine since I'm the funniest joke around?

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again with this heart full of compliments?"

Well, I hope my jokes make you laugh as much as that cheek-clapping comment did! 😂 Let's keep this convo going!

"Are you a racecar? Because I've been known to make things go from 0 to 'speedy' in less than 2 minutes."

"Me? Offended? Only if you don't laugh at my terrible dad jokes!"

"Hey, I'm not a cigarette, but if we kiss, I could be your next bad habit with less side effects."

"Do I love B.D.S.M.? Absolutely! By that I mean 'Baking Delicious Scones, Madam'."

"Even if you can't take a joke, you've certainly taken my breath away."

"Do you believe in love at first joke? Or should I make you laugh again to become your boyfriend?"

"Take your time, no rush. I’ll be here with a good conversation and possibly some bad jokes when you’re ready.”

"Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot? Cause I've got some aloe vera jokes to cool you down!"

"Are you a vampire? Because every time you smile, I feel like I'm ready for a little bite!"

Well, in that case, I hope you're ready for a lifetime supply of dad jokes and questionable dance moves. 😄💃

"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again with my 'Bold Demeanor, Sassy Moves'?"

"Kaitlyn, do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your jokes!"

"Do you like your jokes like you love your ranch? Because I got a whole lot of smooth and creamy humor for you."

"You know I'm into BDSM - Beautiful Dinners, Sweet Movies. Care to join me for a round of laughter and popcorn?"

"Are you a joke book? Because every time I look at you, I smile and my heart laughs out loud."

"Are you into B.S.D.M.? Because Breakfast, Sunshine, Dancing, and Movies are my favorite things about mornings!"

"I'm really into BDSM - 'Becoming Deeply Smitten, Miss' - and that's all because of your charm."

"Is that 250 pounds of muscle? Because you've just lifted my heart without breaking a sweat."

"I might not be a comedian, but your smile is the punchline I'd love to create every day."

I'll make you smile with my cheesy jokes and get to know you by listening to your favorite music. Can't wait!

"Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes... and my wild jokes are nowhere to be found!"

"Are you a dictionary? Because you just gave 'bondage' a whole new meaning - Beautifully Outrageous, Notably Daring, Astoundingly Glamorous Entity."

Oh no, not me! I'm still trying to find someone brave enough to handle my ridiculous dad jokes.

"Do they call you Speed? Because every time I see you, my heart finishes a marathon in just 2 minutes!"

"Hate you for cracking lame jokes? Never! It's a talent really, turning something lame into something legendary!"

"I love BDSM - Beautifully Delivered Sincere Moments, do you think we could share some?"

Don't worry, I'm basically a dad joke connoisseur, so at least our future kids will have punny role models!

"Is your name Honey? Because even though bees scare you, they'd still be drawn to your sweetness."

"Do you know I love BDSM? With me, it means Being Devoted, Sweet and Mindful."

"Are you bored? Because I have a never-ending supply of jokes and adventures just waiting for you."