Top 50 jokes Pick Up lines

Following is our collection of Jokes chat up lines and openingszinnen working better than reddit. They include pickup lines, comebacks, and hugot lines that actually works like the best Tinder openers.

Do you like to make jokes about ethnicity?

Because I may get a little Rachel.

Yeah, probably not a winner and only works for one name.
Knock knock jokes

Knock knock!
"Who's there "
Candice
"Candice who?"
Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Well, I may not be good at dancing but....

Complete this pickup line. i chick i've been chatting with likes to dance and goes to classes for the same. i want it to be a little flirty and clever but nothing comes to mind except telling you a nice flirty jokes
Hey girl are you a dad joke because I want to use you repeatedly until you roll your eyes at me.
Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
“Life’s a joke.”

“Well if it is, it’s only funny around you.”
Hey girl, I could make you laugh

'coz all my life is a joke
If you were mine. I'd sell my car and buy a convertible just to show you off

Actually my mates Joke
My bed hurts my back, can i sleep in yours instead?

No joke this actually worked for me
Are you a suicide, because you’re always on my mind.

(It’s only a joke, I promise)

jokes pickup line — What is a Jokes pickup line?

Latest jokes chat up lines

Farewell pickup line?
Cute girl at work and every time I leave I say "bye ___, see ya in my dreams" as kind of a joke and it receives a laugh and smile, but what's something else I could say?

Opening line that is working for me in that "no info" situation on Tinder.

I've always had a tough time with starting a conversation when the profile match is a single picture with no profile info whatsoever-- there's just nothing to go on, nothing to connect to or make a joke about. Whatever I've come up with in the past, I've rarely gotten a reply in that "no info" situation, and I always just sit there befuddled about what to say.

Last week I matched with a smoking hot girl and just couldn't think of anything to say so I let it linger all day... finally that night I decided on something simple but waited to contact her the next morning. At 7:30am I wrote her a message: "Good Morning, Alex. I hope you have a lovely day." By 10:30 she had messaged back "Thanks! You too!" and the conversation started rolling. We went out that weekend and had a blast and have another date set for next weekend. I tried the approach with a new match this morning and it worked again... It seems that waiting to start conversation the morning after a match is made with something simple and friendly, (and that being the first thing they see when they open the app for the day) seems to be working like a charm (so far.) Just wanted to share this with anyone struggling with how to get a conversation rolling.

Hey girl wanna hear a joke about a pizza?

Nevermind it's too cheesy

Tinder girl said she's real.

Her pics are beautiful so naturally her bio says "yes, I'm real" I matched with her back in 5/2, but I been shy/busy. I want to make a joke along the lines of "sorry for taking so long, waiting for the government to verify you're real bc I thought angels don't exist"

She's got a kid so I feel she'd be like mature ig? We both 23, any suggestions?

My jokes are dry

But I can make you wet

Australia's will understand

(Backstory been going round school as a joke but why not post it)
I must be an ibis as I've bin chicken you out.

Gemini

I had a friend who was reading horoscope and mentioned that it said female gemini are apparently really sexy and joke I should some day walk up to a girl and say "you must be a gemini", so I said

"gurl, you must be a gemini, cause you're a gem in my eyes."

tl;dr zodiac says gemini girls are sexy, so "gurl, you must be a gemini, cause you're a gem in my eyes."

My friend made a joke

We were in the hall and he said “you’re as straight as a twig” a few seconds pass and I tell this one really attractive girl “is that a twig in my pants or am I just happy to see you?” figured it fit here

I would tell you a joke...

I would tell you a joke about my penis, but it's too long

Need one for a girl named Mars.

I know there is a planet joke involving Uranus but I can't come up with one lol.

You know after seeing your brother and sister I think I got competition but you don’t.

Yes I know this is shitty and has an incest joke, but ya know uh yeah.

Any lines for a "Celeste"?

Please no jokes about her name rhyming with "molest"

Show bobs and vegene

Ok so somehow this worked. I jokingly asked this and she replied with 8 photos

You know the joke of why 6 is afraid of 7 right?

"Yeah why?"
"Well do you know why the 7 ate the 9?"
"Idk why? "
"To get you off, what's up I'm OP."

Are you a classic joke?

Because I want to use you again and again.

Do you like self deprecating jokes?

Because I have low confidence and humour is my coping mechanism...

That Time I got Kicked out of the Thirsty Turtle for Barking at a Girl.

I drink.
It’s enjoyable.
I think that I am a pretty good drunk too. I don't get overly emotional; I don't get angered easy; the only stupid things I do when loaded hurt me and no one else; and I don't, typically, cause shit.

But, every once in a while, I will be out on the town and that little glint will surely be showing in the corner of my eye.

I am stretching to remember this story as it happened in a pub that has been since renamed twice.

One particular, Friday/Saturday night it was myself, a few buddies and one of my brothers. It was the brother I lived with in the area at the time and we had a treasure trove of inside jokes at all times; I could tell that outsiders found it nearly detestable being around us because they would have no fucking clue what we were talking about.

A particular hilarious inside joke we had at this time came out while watching sports, particularly hockey. Our mom's side of the family was a farming family and my mom was, generally, a modern woman with all that behind her; unless you threw her in an exciting situation, then the farmer side would shine forth. This was particularly illuminated whenever she would get excited about sports and she would let out a, what sounded like from a coyote, 'yip' noise. We grew up with that noise popping out above all else at numerous soccer and football games our whole lives. For some reason, either my brother or I did it while watching the Oilers play, and presumably lose, we thought that it was the singlehanded funniest thing in the whole world. All the best comedy is just pointing out the absurdity of commonplace things; our mom's yip was to be no different.

So anyways, we are at the Thirsty Turtle one particular night. I have a great crew of guys and it was a pretty great place for talking to girls; really casual and everyone got fucked up there all the time.

Through some fucking miracle, I find myself sharing a small table with a young lady and I am doing my best to show her that I am not a rapist; it really is the first thing you need to establish when you are hitting on a girl at a bar; you can’t just say “hey, I’m not a rapist”, you need to use subtlety in order to convince them of your legitimacy. But my brother would walk by and every time he did he would emit that same high-pitched "yip!" I, obviously, would need to respond with the same, it wouldn't be as infinitely funny to us if I didn't.

After the first yip, the girl leaned in close to me and said "what the fuck was that? Did you just bark at me?" I laughed at the absurdity of the question and in the midst of my outburst she leaned in again to say "cause I don't fuckin play that."

My first thoughts were: "This isn't the first time someone has barked at you?" and "if so, what the fuck are you all about to have this be a common occurrence?" I really did think it was hilarious how serious our conversation got, but wanted to get laid; so, I picked up the slack, changed the subject, and tried to get friendly again.

Things were going pretty well until my brother made another lap around the bar. "Yip", he insisted as he walked by. "YIP!" I said with zeal to respond. Needless to say, my date was very unimpressed with my hooting. She leaned in to say something presumptuous, along the lines of: "are you fucking assholes calling me a dog?" I laughed at the craziness of the situation and she got mad and was nearly yelling "Don't fucking bark at me".

That glint I was talking about then surged up as if from nowhere and implanted itself on my eye. I leaned right up to her as if to whisper an apology in her ear and said "yip".

She didn't say a word as she lifted her leg up, placed her foot on my stool, and pushed off. As I fell backwards I reached for anything I could grab, but there were no handles available; I can still see the lateral rotation of the room and feel my chance to get laid falling to the floor with me. I fell backwards to a luckily unattended area and the only thing that hurt was my pride.

The bouncer then came up to me and said "you gotta go". I responded like a little wiener with "but she pushed ME!" He said, "I know, I saw the whole thing, she is getting kicked out the back door". I love how they kicked me out the front and her out the back as if we were to fight. Is that an Edmonton assumption?

I left with my tail between my legs and went home to the doghouse again.

Heres a joke to say on a coffee date

What did the coffee say to the latte?
Hey, you're kind of hot!

(And you can either choose out of these 2 or follow up with this next one)

What did the latte say back to the coffee?
(Thanks!) I like you a latte

Can we do something about this /u/javedjarwar19 guy?

At first I thought it was a joke, but this guy (or robot) /u/javedjarwar19 just keeps posting his trucks for rent in Dubai. Mods, can we ban this guy or something? Hate to be a bother, but it's rather annoying.

[Request] Met a girl at a lemonade booth

I met a cute girl named Zoe the other day. She was running a booth that served hand made lemonade at a festival. She gave me her number, but I'm looking for a good joke or pun to get the conversation rolling. Any thoughts?

Eyy girls wanna Hear a joke?

My future.

Creative workshopping needed with a name

So there's this girl whose name could, with a little ambiguity be translated as Spinach.

I'm trying to think of a Popeye joke, but it just isn't coming to me

Hey girl, do you like to laugh?

Because I’m officially taken as a joke.

Hi. My name is BrojobBiggs, I can only stay for a second but I really need a woman's opinion on something...

All joking aside if you want a pickup line that gets you from A to B this should be your go to standard. It establishes you as a non threat by creating a false time constraint and engages the woman's most cherished desire: the urge to talk about her opinions. Escalate as per local norms.

Could someone help me with Alina

She’s German no nazi jokes pls