I like my women like I like my whiskey

12 years old and mixed up with coke.


Just Jokes btw... maybe there’s a different sub for these kind of jokes that I’m not aware of though.

Hey, would you like to get to know a joke?

Her: “Yes”

*writes down my number and hands it to her

Hey girl , you're exactly like my jokes!

Nobody likes you

“Life’s a joke.”

“Well if it is, it’s only funny around you.”

"Are you a race? Because with my charm, even 'speedy' wouldn't stand a chance and finish under 2 minutes."

"Are you a race car? Because when I'm with you, everything seems to finish in a speedy blur of excitement!"

"You're so attractive, even your mom jokes are hot; let's create a story better than any punchline."

"Sorry if my humor didn't hit the mark. You're too special, I'd hate to disappoint you with my cheesy jokes again."

"Are you into BDSM too? Because I'm Breaking Down Silly Moments just to make you laugh."

"I must admit, I love BDSM: Beautifully Designed Sparks of Magnetism with you."

"Do I love BDSM? Absolutely! B - Books, D - Dogs, S - Sunsets, M - Music. Want to explore my interests?"

Eleanor: It's not a joke. I'm a legit snack.

"Just like bees crave honey, I'm craving your sweet humor and irresistible charm."

"I'd rather face a hoard of hooligans than miss the chance to chat with you! Bring it on, I'm armed with corny jokes."

My friends and family often joke that I'm the resident clown with a heart of gold - always there to bring laughter and support!

Jokes aside, I'm here to make you laugh, not harm. Let's keep it light and fun, okay?

"Are you a chair? Because every time you walk by, I'm floored by how well you support my sitting jokes."

"Ha, nope! The only thing I traffic is good vibes and occasional dad jokes. How's your sense of humor?"

Did you invent the airplane? Because you just took my breath away!

"Do you have a name or can I call you 'my little sexy gingerbread'?"

"Enjoying life with good people? Perfect! I’ve got a lifetime supply of dad jokes to share—trust me, it’s priceless!"

"Well, I heard there was a shortage of laughter in your life, and as a certified joke-ologist, I felt it my duty to intervene!"

"Are you a fan of BDSM too? Because I'm all about Breakfast, Dinner, Snacks n' Movies for our first date!"

"Oh, a spontaneous woman. I like that! As long as you promise to laugh at my bad jokes, deal?"

"They say I missed my calling as a stand-up comedian, but don't worry, the only thing I'll be throwing are jokes!"

"Are you a knot expert? Because my heart is in a bind, and it's clear you know the ropes of BDSM."

"I'm basically a Walmart version of James Bond with better jokes, less action, and absolutely no martinis."

"Are you a race? Because when I see you, even Mr. Speed finishes in 2 minutes."

"Your edgy humor, like cigarettes burns bright, in the dark canvas of my heart ignites light."

Haha, what are the odds?! Great minds think alike...or maybe the universe is just playing a joke on us! 😄

"Are you a Medic? Because my heart's taking damage, and I need your healing touch to revive it."

"Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your laugh and it's the best journey I've ever taken."

"Are you a WWII tank? Because you just rolled into my heart and knocked me out!"

"Do you believe in love at first joke? Because your smile just made my heart do a stand-up routine!"

"Well, if I give you my lunch money, how can we split the bill on our first date?"

"Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're Cu-Te, and I'd love to bond over biology!"

"You need someone who can make you smile; how about I start with a joke and a coffee?"

"As a pathologist and an introvert, I'm more into 'inside' jokes... like your DNA structure!"

"Are you a turtle? Because I find myself shell-shocked by your beauty whenever I'm not napping."

"Am I not funny enough? Because every time I open a joke book, it's always asking for my autograph!"

"Do you believe in love at first joke? Or should I tell another one?"

"Is your name Google? Because you have everything I've been searching for... and a little extra."

"Do you run a speed dating service? Because with you, it only took me two minutes to fall head over heels."

Definitely! I’ll bring my best dad jokes; just don’t blame me if you start rolling your eyes in disbelief. Challenge accepted?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, I'm here to make you smile.

"Hey, are you a fan of BDSM too? I mean, Beautiful Dreams & Sweet Memories?"

Right? It's like we're both in an exclusive club of awesomeness! Membership comes with a lifetime supply of dad jokes. You in? 😄

"Are you into BDSM? Because I'm totally a Boy Desiring Serious Monogamy."

Fanny, your sense of humor is contagious! I love someone who can make me laugh. Tell me a joke that never fails to crack you up.

"Are you kidding me? Did you just come out of a joke book, because you've got my sense of humor on a string!"

"I'm into BDSM - Books, Dinner, Smiles and Movies. Would you care to join me?"

"Are we in a race? Because with just one look from you, I'm already reaching the finish line."

"Are you into speed dating? Because seeing you makes my heart race at 60 beats per 2 minutes!"

"Girl, if you're bulking up, then I must be falling hard because your strength isn't just physical, it's captivating."

"Oh, don't worry, I've always been a fan of lame jokes. They're like the dad jeans of humor – out of style but strangely comforting."

"Hi, my heart is like BDSM - Beats Dramatically Seeing Magnificence, especially when it's you I'm looking at!"

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again...with my Halloween mask on?"

"Is our friendship a joke to you? Because whenever I see you, I always end up laughing in love."

"Some dislike mom jokes, but with your intelligence, I'd prefer to flirt with our combined wit and allure."

"Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in the maze of your dad jokes!"

Are you a magician? Because whenever I see your smile, you make my jokes disappear.

"Are you a joke? Because I'm buzzing with laughter and you're driving away all my fears, especially geese and bees."

"Just like my favorite joke, your smile brightens up my day and your beauty leaves me speechless."

"Well, the only thing I'd hate is if your lame jokes are lamer than mine. It's a tough competition, you know!"

"I may not always understand a joke, but when it comes to you, I'm serious about how beautiful you are."

Are you a squirrel? Because you're about to go nuts for me!

"Are you a corn field? Because every time I hear your jokes, my ears just pop with laughter."

"Do you know what BDSM stands for in my book? Breathtaking, Delightful, Sweet, and Magnificent... just like you!"

Excuse me, but I think the stars are jealous tonight knowing they can't compete with your beauty.

"I love a little BDSM: Books, Dogs, Star Wars, and Mathematics. Wanna get nerdy with me?"

You must be a stand-up comedian because every time I see you, my stomach hurts from laughing.

"You think I'm joking when I call you sexy? Even my therapist says I've got an acute case of 'you-really-sexy-itis'."

Did you invent the shovel? Because I'm digging your vibe, even if it's a bit filthy.

Dark humor can be a hit or miss, right? I'd love to hear your funniest joke that toes the line!

You'll never be bored with me around, I promise. And that playful side of yours, it's definitely turning up the heat.

"Hey, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again with my Bag of Doritos, Snacks & M&Ms?"

Haha, you caught me! But with those baby blues of yours, I couldn't resist a little teasing. 😉

"Lol back at you! You're quite the charmer, aren't you? I bet it's not just your jokes that are irresistible."

Haha, no worries! Kidnapping is so last season. I prefer to charm you with my cheesy jokes instead. 😉

"Well, I'm more of a 'risk or reward' guy myself. Care to play? The risk is a dad joke, the reward is... another dad joke!"

Haha, my pleasure! I accept payment in the form of cheesy pickup lines and dad jokes. Got any? 😉

"Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost... in those eyes and my love for BDSM... that stands for 'Beautifully Divine Smile Moment'."

"Just like a goose chase, getting your attention is thrilling; unlike a bee sting, your beauty is intoxicating."

"I may not know how to take a joke, but I do know I'm seriously falling for your charm and grace."

"Are you a race? Because every time I look at you, even the most 'speedy' men finish in record time."

Haha, I get what you mean! Well, let's make our own inside jokes that will always keep us laughing together.

"Do I love B.D.S.M.? Absolutely! By that I mean 'Baking Delicious Scones, Madam'."

"Are you into B.S.D.M.? Because Breakfast, Sunshine, Dancing, and Movies are my favorite things about mornings!"

"Well, I'm no married woman, but I can promise a lifetime commitment to bad puns and dad jokes."

"Are you a stopwatch? Because whenever I see you, even 'speedy' rounds seem to end in two minutes."

"Are you a reaper? Cause every time I look at you, I feel like I'm dying... of laughter!"

"Are you into BDSM too? 'Books, Dinner, Sleepovers, Movies.' That's my kind of wild night."

"I must say, I totally love BDSM - Bringing Daily Smiles & Mirth. How about we practice that together?"

"Before you hit block, remember my jokes - they're bigger, bolder, and cause fewer backaches than your bra size!"

"Well, if you're as cool as the weather, we both could use a witty joke to melt the ice!"

"You see through my tactics, but can you resist a guy who's willing to try again?"

"Are you a magician? Because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears...into laughter from my jokes!"

"Hi there! That flower’s nice, but I bet it can’t compete with my impressive collection of dad jokes. Want to hear one? 🌼😄"

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

"Are you a joke book? Because every time I look at you, I smile and my heart laughs out loud."

"Darling, your beauty outshines every blonde joke I know. How about we create a love story instead?"

Well, I hope my jokes make you laugh as much as that cheek-clapping comment did! 😂 Let's keep this convo going!

"Take your time, no rush. I’ll be here with a good conversation and possibly some bad jokes when you’re ready.”

"Kaitlyn, do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your jokes!"

"Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes... and my wild jokes are nowhere to be found!"

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again with this heart full of compliments?"

"You know I'm into BDSM - Beautiful Dinners, Sweet Movies. Care to join me for a round of laughter and popcorn?"

Do you have a name, or can I call you mine since I'm the funniest joke around?

"Hey, I'm not a cigarette, but if we kiss, I could be your next bad habit with less side effects."

"Me? Offended? Only if you don't laugh at my terrible dad jokes!"

"Are you a vampire? Because every time you smile, I feel like I'm ready for a little bite!"

"Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot? Cause I've got some aloe vera jokes to cool you down!"

"Is that 250 pounds of muscle? Because you've just lifted my heart without breaking a sweat."

"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again with my 'Bold Demeanor, Sassy Moves'?"

"I might not be a comedian, but your smile is the punchline I'd love to create every day."

Well, in that case, I hope you're ready for a lifetime supply of dad jokes and questionable dance moves. 😄💃

"Are you a racecar? Because I've been known to make things go from 0 to 'speedy' in less than 2 minutes."

"I'm really into BDSM - 'Becoming Deeply Smitten, Miss' - and that's all because of your charm."

I'll make you smile with my cheesy jokes and get to know you by listening to your favorite music. Can't wait!

"Do you believe in love at first joke? Or should I make you laugh again to become your boyfriend?"

"Do you like your jokes like you love your ranch? Because I got a whole lot of smooth and creamy humor for you."

"Even if you can't take a joke, you've certainly taken my breath away."

Don't worry, I'm basically a dad joke connoisseur, so at least our future kids will have punny role models!

"Are you a locksmith? Because I totally love B.D.S.M - 'Beautiful Damsels Stealing My' heart!"

"Hate you for cracking lame jokes? Never! It's a talent really, turning something lame into something legendary!"

"Are you a joke? Because every time I see you, you put a smile on my face and make my heart giggle."

"Do you have a name or can I call you mine after making up for all the friend-teasing jokes?"

"Are you bored? Because I have a never-ending supply of jokes and adventures just waiting for you."

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you must be an angel for looking so stunning.

"If your hunger could be satiated by bad jokes, I'd be your all-you-can-eat buffet!"

Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're Cu-Te, just like a dad joke.