So this is a piece of paper with my number on it.

You should call me.

No pen, No paper

And yet you still draw my attention.

I wish I was toilet paper so I could touch your butt

So do you want to make it official and co-author a paper together?

No pen, no paper

But somehow, you still draw my attention

I hope you don't mind paper cuts.

Baby, do you need toilet paper?

Because I could be your Prince Charmin.

If I were recycled paper, would you be my organic ink?

Hey girl are you toilet paper?

Cuz I wanna use you and throw you away

"I have no doubt you'll ace it! With your charm and intelligence, that paper doesn't stand a chance."

"Good luck! Remember, if your paper was a person, it'd be too intimidated to go on a date with you!"

"Did your divorce papers include a clause that you must steal hearts? Because I think mine just got served."

"Are you a notebook? Because my heart has been scribbling your name all over its pages."

"Well, isn't that a charming line! No canvas, no brush but you've painted quite an impression on me already."

"Well, if every challenge is just 'paper one easy' to you, that's impressive!"

"Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes like an unexplored parchment."

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because I swear you're an angel in that paper ring."

Like a paper ring, your love is pure and bright, marrying me in eternal light.

Your love is the ink that writes the story of my life with you as my wife.

"Is your name Angel Soft? Because you've got me feeling like I just won the toilet paper lottery."

"Excuse me miss, are you a highlighter? Because every moment with you is worth marking in bright colors."

Like a paper ring, you've made my heart sing. You're my forever love, my everything.

"A sitcom geek, huh? I'll make our chats as exciting as 'The Office' finale, only with more romance and less paper. 😉"

Are you made of diamonds? Because you shine brighter than my paper ring.

"Hey, don't underestimate me, I once won a championship in lifting...paper weights!"

"Excuse me, but can you help me out? I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I've just found my source."

"Are you made of diamonds, babe? Because you shine brighter than my paper ring ever could."

"You're like the perfect script on an untouched piece of paper, flawlessly beautiful and completely unique."

"That's smooth, just like the way you're capturing my interest. You're a masterpiece in your own right."

Clever way to get her phone number

Say you are going to perform a magic trick to victim.
Ask said person to write down their phone number on a piece of paper, but say you don't need the paper.
Ask them to add up all the digits of their phone number **excluding** the middle two.
Say something about how phone numbers are not entirely random, and that the middle two digits mostly **(say this exactly "in 99.9999% of cases this works")** formed from the addition of all the other digits divided by two + a special number that only you know, ask them for the addition number, then guess a random number. When it turns out to be wrong, ask for the sheet to check they did the maths right. Then turn to them and say, **"huh, I guess you are just a one in a million kinda guy/girl"**

"Sure, but if you ace it, you owe me a victory dance tutorial. Fair deal?"

"Is your name Toilet Paper? Because I can't stand the thought of being without you."

In your eyes, I see the universe unfold, my heart sings for you, my forever hand to hold.

"Just like with the toilet paper in my house, I can't imagine a day without rolling with your beauty."

"Grading papers is dull, but grading you? You score an A+ in captivating beauty and irresistible charm."

"Are you a page from a book? Because every word I read on you leads me closer to falling in love."

"I may not be a lawyer, but I promise to make our love story more compelling than your divorce papers."

"Are you made of diamonds? Because you shine brighter than my paper ring on our wedding day."

"Are you made of diamonds? Because you're a precious gem that I'd love to treasure forever, my dear wife."

In your eyes, my world does sing,
You're my wife, my everything.

Like a paper ring, delicate and true, you're the only one for me, my love for you grew.

"In this sea of paper and ink, your smile is my only brink."

"I'm more into unwrapping a gift slowly to savor the moment, rather than tearing through the wrapping paper."

"Just like a story on a blank paper, our love story is waiting to be written beautifully."

Meet me in my bunker. There's toilet paper and water.

"Is your name Homework? Because I can't seem to get you out of my mind."

"Are you a piece of paper? Because I can't help but feel we'd be perfect if we were penned together."

Hey do you like bad boys?

Cause after I wash my hands, I use five paper towels to dry them off even though I only need two.

"Forget about pencils and papers, what you need is a date with me to make your school life interesting."

"Imagine a world where my words don't just enchant you on paper, but light up your phone screen daily."

"Is your love for toilet paper like a forest? Cause I'm lost in your softness and don't want to find my way back."

"Wow, you're tackling life like it's a paper one, huh? That's pretty cool."

"Just paper one? I think modesty might just be your secret superpower, along with your apparent knack for acing tests."

"Are you my favorite brand of toilet paper? 'Cause you're irresistibly soft, strong and definitely indispensable in my life."

"Girl, are you toilet paper? Because even in panic mode, you're the first thing I reach for."

Are you made of toilet paper? Because I want to take you home with me.

With a paper ring, our love took flight,
My darling wife, my shining light.

"Are you made of toilet paper? 'Cause I just can't resist wrapping myself up in you."

This one is really good

I'm writing a term paper on the fine things in life.
I was wondering if I could interview you?

"Good luck! Remember, if your paper was a date, it'd be the best looking one in town."

“Are you a paper?”

Girl: “no???”
“Oh great because I’m a rock

"Are you a paper cut? Because every time I see you, I feel a sharp, sweet pain that makes my heart flutter."

"Are you a roll of toilet paper? Because I can't resist being around you when things get crappy!"

Do you need toilet paper?

Cause I wanna be your Prince Charmin.

"Well, Picasso, you've got quite the knack for sketching interest. Let's see if we can turn this into a masterpiece."

"Success is yours! Because when it comes to writing papers, you're like Shakespeare on a triple espresso."

Hey girl I'm a scientist working on a paper.

I am a philametologist and could use your help on my next work.