Top 40 absolutely Pick Up lines
Following is our collection of Absolutely chat up lines and openingszinnen working better than reddit. They include pickup lines, comebacks, and hugot lines that actually works like the best Tinder openers.
-
I don't wanna stop protesting...but you're absolutely arresting.
-
Hi, my friend thinks you're kinda cute, but I don't. I think you're absolutely gorgeous.
-
Hey girl, are you Planck's temperature?
Because you are absolute hot
-
Absolute zero, still moves me.
-
Can I curl up in your arms and let the beat of your heart soothe me to sleep? Because that sounds absolutely lovely.
-
Girl, you’re like Mastercard - absolutely priceless.
-
Hey baby, are from Heaven?
Because I sure do want to kill myself. However, the possibility of an afterlife instills me with abounding despair, for if there truly is a Heaven, then equally as true must be a Hell. Given the uncountable sins of my lifetime heretofore, it is with absolute certainty that my eternal soul would be condemned to the lake of fire, should it exist at all.
O' how sweet the thought of endless oblivion! A serene nothingness that lasts thoughout eternity, and is over at once. Beyond the heat death of our universe, a multi-trillion year sempiternity to those who wake, I would glide in an instant. Knowing such a nonexistence awaited me at my death has been my only comfort for many years.
However, laying eyes upon you has all but abolished that comfort. Your angelic presence casts doubt upon such a fate. For how could one as beautiful as you originate from a realm other than Paradise? -
What's the difference between you and coronavirus?
Nothing, you're both absolutely breathtaking
-
I think I need a paralyze heal, cause you’re absolutely stunning.
-
Damn, girl are you toilet paper?
Because I need all of you for absolutely no reason.
Latest absolutely chat up lines
If you were a dinosaur
You’d be a T-Rex with a Q in front and no Rex after.
(ps was inspired by another line I saw. Let me know if this is good about to slide in this absolute beauty’s DMs.)
Do you have advanced radiation poisoning?
Because you are absolutely glowing
Are you my Therapist?
Because I want to see you every week, cry to you, and spend lots on you for Absolutely nothing in return
Damn girl are you a Pixar mom?
Cause you got an absolute dump truck
Just call me big boobs.
Because I’ll absolutely ruin your back.
Is your name Hannibal Lecter?
Because you look absolute insane
Girl, am I seeing you through a retina display? Because you are absolutely stunning.
While walking by a girl talking loudly to a wing-woman (not your girlfriend) on the phone: "Yeah, just spit on your hand and grab it, or we could do it old-school....sorry gotta run baby..."
Followup: (to make it actually work, you gotta be in a great fucking mood, lighthearted, laughing, and smiling. This actually works better on confident smart sexy girls.
​
Then to the girl you want "Sorry, did you hear that? Fuck me, I was just fooling around with a friend. Would you like to talk with her? Why am I even asking you that, you don't know me.
By the way, you look ABSOLUTELY FUCKING INCREDIBLE...MOSTLY (then laugh to yourself (only if she's really hot)). Anyway I was about to head out soon, but since I can see you want to buy me a drink, we're over there" and point to your friends.
Then leave and go back to your friends (if she doesn't stop you first) and ignore her 100%, but have your friends look over and smile at her occasionally while you have a raucous fun time.
She will have no fucking clue and will have to find out more. "Is everyone making fun of her?" When the drink arrives at your table... play it cool and don't go over, just buy her whatever she's drinking without ever looking at her. If she doesn't make the next move, you did something wrong and it's over, or she's boring and you never wanted her anyway.
Give it a go, she'll certainly remember you at the very least.
Absolutely heart warming
SNORT MY MOMS ASHES CALL IT COCAINE
I JUST SNORTEd PART OF HER BRAIN
Hey girl are you an absolute value graph?
Cuz I'm not seeing any negatives
Hey baby, are you my dick?
Because ever since I got married I have absolutely no use for you.
Are you an algebra genius?
Cuz you got all the absolute values
Are you the absolute value of the square root of 100?
Cause no matter how I see it you're always a 10
Are you a fossil?
Cause I’d absolutely date you.
In the form of a logic puzzle.
The solution to the German Tank problem states that if you confirm for certain that at least n of something exists, then the total amount of that thing is probably 2n. Therefore, if I confirm for certain that at least 1 guy likes you, then there are probably at least 2 guys that do.
​
Now, how do we know that the number of guys that like you are at least 1? Well, the same way that you know, when countin money and starting with a nickle, that you have at least 5 cents. You don't need to know the number, you just need to confirm that one guy likes you, and then you know that at least 1 guy likes you.
​
I am unable to assess to emotions of other guys, but despite that, I know for absolute certain that one guy likes you, and therefore that there are probably two. How do I know that?
Do you study Amattamy?
Her: What's Amattamy?
Me: Nothing dear, you're absolute perfection
I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.
I absolutely love the "i am invisible one" one
Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautiful...??
Her: (smiles) and says no..
Him: there is a good reason for that..
I know I should be killing 12-year-olds while tending to my gaping flesh wound, but I had to stop by to tell you that you have absolutely beautiful eyes.
Girl, are you Nunu? Because on a scale of one to ten, you're an ABSOLUTE ZERO.
Girl, it's axiomatic that you're absolutely gorgeous!
I was just listening to a crazy termite. Hatching a crazy plan that absolutely will not work.
You must be Mona/Lisa, because I find your smile absolutely intriguing.
You are totally my type, I am absolutely weak against you.