Top 39 Absolutely Pick Up lines

Following is our collection of smooth and dirty Absolutely pick up lines and openingszinnen working better than reddit. They include killer conversation starters and useful chat up lines and comebacks for situations when you are burned, guaranteed to work best as Tinder openers.

1. I don't wanna stop protesting...but you're absolutely arresting.

2. Hi, my friend thinks you're kinda cute, but I don't. I think you're absolutely gorgeous.

3. Hey girl, are you Planck's temperature?

   Because you are absolute hot

4. Absolute zero, still moves me.

5. Can I curl up in your arms and let the beat of your heart soothe me to sleep? Because that sounds absolutely lovely.

6. Girl, you’re like Mastercard - absolutely priceless.

7. Hey baby, are from Heaven?

   Because I sure do want to kill myself. However, the possibility of an afterlife instills me with abounding despair, for if there truly is a Heaven, then equally as true must be a Hell. Given the uncountable sins of my lifetime heretofore, it is with absolute certainty that my eternal soul would be condemned to the lake of fire, should it exist at all.
   
   O' how sweet the thought of endless oblivion! A serene nothingness that lasts thoughout eternity, and is over at once. Beyond the heat death of our universe, a multi-trillion year sempiternity to those who wake, I would glide in an instant. Knowing such a nonexistence awaited me at my death has been my only comfort for many years.
   
   However, laying eyes upon you has all but abolished that comfort. Your angelic presence casts doubt upon such a fate. For how could one as beautiful as you originate from a realm other than Paradise?

8. What's the difference between you and coronavirus?

   Nothing, you're both absolutely breathtaking

9. I think I need a paralyze heal, cause you’re absolutely stunning.

10. Damn, girl are you toilet paper?

    Because I need all of you for absolutely no reason.

Funny absolutely pickup lines

If you were a dinosaur
You’d be a T-Rex with a Q in front and no Rex after.

(ps was inspired by another line I saw. Let me know if this is good about to slide in this absolute beauty’s DMs.)

Do you have advanced radiation poisoning?

Because you are absolutely glowing

Are you my Therapist?

Because I want to see you every week, cry to you, and spend lots on you for Absolutely nothing in return

Damn girl are you a Pixar mom?

Cause you got an absolute dump truck

Is your name Hannibal Lecter?

Because you look absolute insane

Girl, am I seeing you through a retina display? Because you are absolutely stunning.

In the form of a logic puzzle.

The solution to the German Tank problem states that if you confirm for certain that at least n of something exists, then the total amount of that thing is probably 2n. Therefore, if I confirm for certain that at least 1 guy likes you, then there are probably at least 2 guys that do.

​

Now, how do we know that the number of guys that like you are at least 1? Well, the same way that you know, when countin money and starting with a nickle, that you have at least 5 cents. You don't need to know the number, you just need to confirm that one guy likes you, and then you know that at least 1 guy likes you.

​

I am unable to assess to emotions of other guys, but despite that, I know for absolute certain that one guy likes you, and therefore that there are probably two. How do I know that?

Are you a fossil?

Cause I’d absolutely date you.

Hey girl are you an absolute value graph?

Cuz I'm not seeing any negatives

Hey baby, are you my dick?

Because ever since I got married I have absolutely no use for you.

Are you an algebra genius?

Cuz you got all the absolute values

Are you the absolute value of the square root of 100?

Cause no matter how I see it you're always a 10

Do you study Amattamy?

Her: What's Amattamy?
Me: Nothing dear, you're absolute perfection

My friend thinks you're kinda cute, but I don't... I think you're absolutely gorgeous!

I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.

I absolutely love the "i am invisible one" one

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautiful...??

Her: (smiles) and says no..
Him: there is a good reason for that..

I know I should be killing 12-year-olds while tending to my gaping flesh wound, but I had to stop by to tell you that you have absolutely beautiful eyes.

Girl, are you Nunu? Because on a scale of one to ten, you're an ABSOLUTE ZERO.

Girl, it's axiomatic that you're absolutely gorgeous!

I was just listening to a crazy termite. Hatching a crazy plan that absolutely will not work.

You must be Mona/Lisa, because I find your smile absolutely intriguing.

You are totally my type, I am absolutely weak against you.