Top 38 Painful Pick Up lines

Following is our collection of smooth and dirty Painful pick up lines and openingszinnen working better than reddit. Include killer Omegle conversation starters and useful chat up lines and comebacks for situations when you are burned, guaranteed to work best as Tinder openers.

1. Hey girl, are you a neutron star?

   Because time slows down when I'm near you, you're hot, I'm attracted to you, and once I'm near you I have a hard time getting away. Also works as a breakup line: girl, you must be a neutron star because you're dense AF and weigh a ton, it's painful to be near you and I can't get away from you.

2. I don’t use my fingers only for thousand years of pain.

3. After one night with me, you will know pain!

4. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because your head has a strange shape to it and I’m assuming it was a painful fall.

5. You’re a pain, but I need to continue my lineage for the next generation, so what’re you waiting for?

6. Being apart from you is like feedback in the microphones...it's so painful and ill do anything i can to avoid it.

7. In my pursuit of happiness, I found nothing but pain. Hey. Give me some opiates!

8. I don't only use the fingers to do the 1000 Years of Pain.

   If you know what I mean.

9. Girl are you my uncle?

   Cuz you're a pain in the ass

10. When you fell from heaven, could you rate the pain from 1-10? Was there any blood in your urine or stool?

Funny painful pickup lines

I'm no Thomas Paine, but you and I are Common Sense.

Are you a bite from a Banana Spider

Because you give me an extremely painful erection

Are you a hemorrhoid

Because you’re nothing but a pain in my ass

If they say that something is “a pain in their ass”...

...respond with “i can be a pain in your ass”

They say No pain, no gain

So you must be in agony

Hey is your middle name “A535”
Because you relieve my back pain from years of performing self felacio

Me:Hey Girl want some of dis Vitamine D

Me: *Painfully realise corpses doesn’t require sunlight*
Me:*Proceeds to painfully have CONSENSUAL sex with sis’s corpse*

Hey girl, are your period cramps painful?

Because I can stop them for nine months

Hey girl, you want some opioids?

Because if beauty is pain, you must need them

Hey girl, are your period cramps painful?

Cause i can stop them for nine months

You remind me of T-Pain

Because I want to buy you a drank.

I taste pain and regret in your sweat. You've been waiting for me. (Practice)

True love is like a pillow, you can hug when you are in trouble,
You can cry when you are in pain & you can embrace when you are happy.
So when you need true love spend 100 bucks and buy a pillow.

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass?

Sandpaper ?

What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life to strength each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?

I got my favorite girl. Not feeling, no pain, no fear, don't have a care in the world. Why would I when you are here?

Hey, I'm like acetaminophen I'll make sure all your pains go away when we're together.

Just ask thomas paine; he knows dating me is common sense.

Darling, these Trojans are rather painful. We may need some oil for this armor.

I can inflict the most pain you've ever felt. Or pleasure. Take your pick.

Lemme Buy You A Drank. (In T-Pain's voice)

If I'm a pain in your ass… We can just add more lubricants.

I'm like devils snare. It only gets more painful if you struggle!