She asked me “What that mouth do?”

I said “I’ve been eating pudding cups without a spoon since I was 8 years old, I will make you cry.”

I quit taking drugs 3 years ago...

So I dont have any lines but can I take you out tonight?

Hey, are you a date?

'cuz you 10/10!


We get this chance one day a year, best of luck to y'all.

Hey girl.

What's your bracket lookin like this year?

How will you be pureeing your root vegetables this year?

The Opportunity Rover lasted 15 years on Mars...

Which is crazy, because I'd only last about 15 seconds in Uranus.

You're so beautiful it makes me want to vomit.

Hey girl are you a little mistake that i made years ago and anybody but me remember

Because i can't get you of my mind

Hey boo, let's celebrate Father's Day next year with a 3 month old baby, you do the math.

Hey girl, you wanna go back to my place and maybe you can celebrate this day next year.

They say 68% of new born babies will be Virgos this year. Wanna make that 69?

When I first met you when you were a climate model, I predicted you'd get hotter every year. I was right.

I don’t use my fingers only for thousand years of pain.

Are you a male Gerudo? Because men like you are only born once in a hundred years.

I loved you since last year!

Stop asking Santa for the man of your dreams.

He tried to kidnap me 5 times this year.

You look nearly 22. Most Mormons are 2-3 years into marriage by now – just settle for me!

Today's the longest day of the year, wanna see something else that's long?

Are you Poland?

Because I want to dominate you for a thousand years

Wanna be a mother next year?

Baby you make me feel like i’m stuck in the hyperbolic time chamber, not seeing you for a day feels like a year.

If we're still together next year, let's put flour in our hair, borrow your grandpa's walker, and grow old together.

I'm from the future... I ran all the way back in time to tell you we're still in love 100 years from now.

Is that corn in your silo, or did you have to plant barley this year too?

Baby, let's make fireworks every day of the year.

Were I to impregnate you, in several years the child will purchase you flowers and chocolates. Deal?

If Princess Toad looked anything like you, I would have killed Bowser years ago.

You know people say "you'll do things all year that you did on new year"

So can i do you??

It´s all over your face. You´ve been very bad this year

I'm better than thanksgiving because I can make you come more than once a year.

It's been 6 years and 364 days since my last pon-farr.

So, you wanna go work on being celebrated this time next year?

The most beautiful woman I've seen in over 300 years.

Hey boy are you a party horn?

Cuz I wanna blow you on New Year's Eve

Hey miss, want to see my Dragon, it's a year long.

Unlike a certain band, I'd stay with you longer than twelve years.

This year has been full of surprises...

Why don’t we get together and surprise others?

Don't worry, I've had years of field work.

After getting lost for 40 years I've think I've finally found what I was looking for

If you are single in ten years and I’m single in ten years, do you think maybeeeee...

You could shoot me in the back of the head executioner style

Can I see your pants drop at midnight too?

Hi would you like to start the new year off with a bang?

70 years on ice left me with a lot of catching up to do... I’d like to start with you.

How would you like to celebrate Mother's Day next year?

I don't only use the fingers to do the 1000 Years of Pain.

If you know what I mean.

If Princess Toad looked liked you, I would have killed Bowser years ago!

What's your new year's resolution?

I'm looking at mine right now.

2020 was hard for me

This year I'm hard for you

Hey do you like mexican food?

Because I wanna wrap my arms around you and make you my baeritto.

This one got me a 2.5 year relationship from tinder.

Damn girl, you are the finest girl in 2015 (or whatever year it is).

I like my women like I like my whiskey

12 years old and mixed up with coke.


Just Jokes btw... maybe there’s a different sub for these kind of jokes that I’m not aware of though.

I've been waiting 75 million years to see a meat body like yours.

Jonesy! Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta.

Are you a leap day? Because meeting someone as rare and special as you only happens once every four years.

If you were a tree, you must be an evergreen because you look good all year round.

I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to s**....

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... four years ago on February 29th?

I like my women like I like wine

7 years old and trapped in a cellar in my basement

Are you a leap year? Because you only come around once every four years and you're worth the wait.

Are you a calendar? Because you're making my heart leap an extra day this year!

Let’s ring in the new year with a bang!

You're Katara and I'm Aang. You went years without me but then I finally came out of that iceberg.

Are you the final semester of my senior year? Because I’m happy I survived long enough to see you.

You must be Washington D.C

Because you’re not the only thing being breached this year ;)

Can I have a picture of you?

Because I want to show Santa what I want this year

70 years on ice left me with a lot of catching up to do... I’d like to start with you. (Captain America)

I wouldn't mind being trapped in Purgatory with you for a year.

Sick of staring at my ceiling this year

You want to be on top to change my view?

Babe, you are my T5 units. It took me years of research to get to you.

Look, you're nearly 22. Most christians are 3 years into marriage by now... just settle for me.

Are you this years date, because you are a 20/20

Date has 2 meanings lol

Do you want to see two balls drop?

For score, seven years ago...I would have rocked that butt.

You know what you and planet earth Earth have in common? You’re both getting hotter each year.

I'm from the future and there's no time to explain...

I really need your help in finding out if a certain year has passed.

So, does your last name happen to be *insert your last name* or has that not happened yet?

"This New Year's Day, forget fireworks. Your smile is the most beautiful light show around."

"Can you believe it's been 7 years? Yet, your beauty still outshines every star I've ever seen."

Are you a rare weapon drop in Roblox? Because you've definitely caught my attention in this game of love.

Are you a level 100 player in Roblox? Because you've got all the right moves.

Are you a VIP player? Because you've unlocked the key to my heart in our Roblox adventures.

"Just reminiscing about old times, Rica. You do stand out, after all. Hard to ignore a fiery personality like yours."

"Do you like Red Dead Redemption? Because I can't seem to escape your wanted level."

"Remembering how stunning you looked last New Year's eve. How about becoming my midnight kiss tradition every year?"

"A year, darling, because every inch of you is a seductive journey worth exploring in four seasons."

"Are you Sleeping Beauty? Because every time I see you, I feel like I could spend a hundred years just admiring your beauty."

"You must be a fine wine, because with every year that passes, you only get more beautiful."

A few years ago, I was granted a wish...

To be great at kiss or to have a great memory....
I forgot which one I chose.

"Excuse me, but your simplicity outshines the stars - can I be the moon that brightens your 22nd year?"

"Are you a cream puff? Because I find you irresistibly sweet and hard to resist!"

"Did you conquer countries for that shine? Because your beauty surely rules my world."

"As we countdown to the New Year, I just want to say, your beauty makes every second sparkle brighter."

"How about we kick off this New Year by making our own fireworks display?"

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because your beauty is simply out of this world."

Are you a shooting star? Because your green eyes light up the sky like magic.

"Just like this annual day, you light up the room and make it a once-a-year occasion worth waiting for."

"Hey Macy, remember when we used to dream about the future? How about we start with a simple coffee for old times' sake?"

"After three years of friendship, I think it's time we explore the beauty of Ecuador together—just us two."

"Did it hurt when you fell from Tinder heaven, Nita? Because you're definitely an angel in my match list."

Are you a magician? Because every time I see you, another bun pops out of your oven.

"Are you a bakery? Because you keep filling me up with your cream pies every year."

"Is it hotter in Egypt or is it just your captivating beauty that's making me sweat?"

Are you a fine vintage wine? Because with each passing year, you only become more divine.

Like a timeless melody, I have loved you for a thousand years. Let's create our own symphony together.

I understand how you feel. Maybe we can start fresh and I can show you what real love feels like. Let's give it a shot!

"Were we a 'Super Like' match on Tinder? Because it seems like destiny is bringing us together again."

"Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're Cu-Te, just like my match from Tinder, Nita."

"Are you a high-level player? Because being around you makes me feel like I've leveled up."

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I respawn and try walking by again?

"Has it been 7 years or just a moment, because your beauty has the power to make time stand still."

"As we countdown to the New Year, my heart counts on you. How about we enter this year together, just me and you?"

Are you made of sugar, spice, and everything nice? Because you're the sweetest 16-year-old I've ever seen!

"As far as fireworks go tonight, nothing can compete with the sparks I'm feeling for you."

"In a span of 7 years, the only constant I've found is my heart skipping a beat every time I see you."

"If kissing burns six calories per minute, dear, let's get fit together over a year."

"You're like November rain, refreshing, beautiful, and something I eagerly wait for all year."

"You're a masterpiece of indie rock and classic sonatas; can I be the rhythm to your melody?"

Age? Pfft, I don't count the years, I count the experiences... and the number of pizza slices I can eat in one sitting. 🍕

"Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears; even time at my 36th year."

"With rap's rhythm, you move so slick, a Native warrior in the joystick's click."

"Are you the New Year's ball? Because I can't stop dropping my jaw every time I see you sparkle."

"Despite our age gap, my love for you is as boundless as the knowledge I've gained in school."

"I see you giggling over there... Did my life story just become your feel-good movie of the year?"

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because it looks like your contour is on point!

"Just like Snow White, your beauty could awaken any heart, even one that's been asleep for a hundred years."

It's important to prioritize your own happiness too. Don't lose sight of what makes you tick while waiting for someone else.

Are you a book Nasis? Because I can't seem to stop studying your cover with those green eyes.

"This New Year, I'm looking for a special someone to share my resolutions with. Could you be that lucky one?"

"My New Year's resolution? To finally get a date with the most beautiful girl in this room, you."

Hey I’m doing my Christmas shopping early this year…

Are we gonna be dating by then so I can start shopping now or…?

"Is it hot in here or is it just your stunning smile that's giving me butterflies?"

Babe, I am so good I will turn 1000 years of pain into 1000 years of pleasure for you.