Roses are red, days in quarantine just go by...

Poetry's hard but so am I

Sorry, I mistook you for the sun.

Because you being around just makes my day!

I hope your day is as beautiful

as your smile.

You are just the way I like my beer...

Strong, Sweet and Addictive

- Day 82

Me: Happy Mother’s Day!

Crush: Thanks , but I’m not a mother ?

Me: Not yet but you will make a great mother to our children.

Are you a light?

Cuz you brighten my day

If you rearrange the letters in coronavirus you get carnivorous

Which makes sense because I wanna spend 14 days in quarantine eating you out

The word of the day is legs.

Come back to my place, and we can spread the word

Are you the taliban?

Because you could terrorize me for 20 years and I would still fall for you in 1 day.

Does your left eye hurt?

Because you've been looking right all day ;)

ARE YOU DISHES?

Cuz I feel the need to do you...

Edit: This is my first 50+ upvotes post and first 2 awards recieved. Thanksss this made my day

Are you a car?

Cause I'll ride you any day.

Hey girl, happy Hiroshima Day

Want me to drop my 'little boy' on you?

You must be very tired

Cause you've been running in my mind all day.

Sorry to text you so early in the day

But my parents did ask me to focus on my future this morning ;)

I would smash you harder than my first piggy bank the day the first Xbox console was out

Is your name suicide?

Bc I think about you every day

I wish I was your phone...

So you'd be on me all day

- Day 213

What to say when a flirty chat becomes dead for 2 days?

You guys have ideas for good things to say after a flirty chat with a girl is dead for a few says.

Hope you kings can help a brother out

Hey girl, are you the archduke of Austria on the day of june 28, 1914?

Cuz I wanna take you out

You look like you're having a rough day.

How about a rough night to ballance it out?

Are you a good video game?

Cause I'll do you for hours and still won't get bored

- Day 111

Hey, are you a date?

'cuz you 10/10!


We get this chance one day a year, best of luck to y'all.

Have you been protesting? Cause all that angst & hate really turns me on!

Let’s go out and I’ll do to you what neither of these candidates will do to the country.

Are you tired? Cos you've been running from me all day, baby.

Hi, do you want to have my children? Nope. OK, can we just practice then?

That Phish tee shirt would look great on the floor of my tent.

Hey, girl. You would make one good mom.

I got you a recycled engagement ring to save our planet"s finite resources.

I want to exploit you like an oil company.

Like the moon, my thoughts revolve around you.

Yours is the only w**... I’d vote for...

Can I kiss your Blarney Stone?

Ummm so who's trying to become a mother tonight?

I ain’t got four leaves, baby, but if you pluck me, I’ll give you luck!

Kiss me, I met an Irish person once.

Hey I'm Irish, you wanna play with my shillelagh and blarney stones?

How bout I punch your ballot with my meat mallet?

Ash Wednesday is coming up.

Is it a sin that you stole my heart?

Hey Girl...Pls become the mother of my future children...

Happy Valentines Day.

Lets go eat our weight in roof insulation!

Do your calves hurt? Because you've been backwards marching through my mind all day...

Mind if I stuff your ballot box?

If you were a Black Friday sale, you'd be a door buster.

You must have take a potion of ultimate stamina, cause you've been running through my mind all day.

I noticed you don't have any flowers or a balloon....

How you doin'?

Pinch me..I'm not wearing green.

You look this good and its only Saturday? I’d like to see you in your Sunday Best.

Are you French relative pronouns bc I've been staring at you all day.

I would love the chakrasana on me any day.

I'd love to say a prayer before a meal with you sometime. How's Saturday at 7?

Have you ever been with a man with outstanding hygiene? Because I've been washing my hands all day.

I could look at your bézier curves all day.

I have more than a four leaf clover.

Are you an electrician?

Because you’re lighting up my day

Are you a four-leafed clover? Cuz I think I'm getting lucky tonight.

If you were a Yoshi and I was Mario I'd ride you all day.

So you wanna ensure you have your 1st Mother's Day, "next" year?

I'll dewy decimal system your shelves any day.

My booty call doesn't do the walk of shame, she does the trail of tears.

What a cute puppy. One day you're going to be as beautiful as your Mommy

Can I be the Mother of your kids?

In honor of Earth Day, I'll rock your world.

My mom cleaned my sheets, who wants to get them dirty again.

Oh you're a mom? Well that means you'll know how to tuck me in later tonight.

Let's head to the park so I can plant my tree.

I want to give a state of the union on your capitol hills.

Hey girl. I'm trying to celebrate my first father day.

I usually pick up trash, but today I want to pick up you.

Since we've been told to reduce waste these days,

what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.

You turned my blackest night into the brightest day.

I have a p**... of gold...It's in my pants with two leprechauns.

Every day I think of you I smile and my motion sensor picks up Sparks Fly.

My leprechaun wants to swim in your p**... of gold like he's Scrooge McDuck.

Fancy a look at my majority?

I forgot my CIF gear.

Looks like this little marine is going in slick.

Can I conquer you?

Forget the wearing of green—let’s go right to the wearing of you like a hat!

The only missing letters my valentine poem are U&I.

Let’s treat your pants like the polar ice caps and make them disappear.

Kiss me! No, I'm not Irish, I just make out hard!

I'd like to trickle down on her.

Girl do you have a severe case of plantar fasciitis cus you've been running through my mind all day.

Everyday is Earth Day for me baby.

I just voted, now who wants get drunk and see my electoral college?

Let’s get out of here and I’ll do to you what either of these candidates will do to America.

I've heard of this place in the new world that lies in your bedroom...

This is my old elementary school, wanna see my classroom?

The Communist Party believes in sharing.

I'm gonna Barrack your world.

I guess I'm wearing green today.

Is your name Jean? Cause you've been in my mind all day.

I not bragging but I came in 3 different ships.

Do you know where i can find a Hoe so i can plant my tool?

Hey girl, you wanna go back to my place and maybe you can celebrate this day next year.

Hey boo, let's celebrate Father's Day next year with a 3 month old baby, you do the math.

I'm Jimmy Carter in the streets and John F. Kennedy in the sheets.

I wish I was your nose during winter so you could blow me all day long.

I'm not a father to anyone yet.

You don't look a day over 69.

Oh excuse to brush against you with my shirt h**... , or am I?

Hey girl, are you a lantern?

Because you make my day that much brighter, and I want to be close to you at night.

You know, I've always found bruised legs, short nails and three days without a shower dead sexy.

In your eyes I see oceans, and one large floating trash pile.

I want you like a pint of Guinness!

Let's make this spring a little less silent.

I'm Baberham Lincoln and I'm here to emancipate your body from those clothes.

Want to see a well hung parliment?

You can dig up my bone any day.

I'm sure I can awaken your moon prism power any day.

Good Morning sweetheart and have a Good Day!

Without you, there's a hole in the ozone layer of my heart!

Do you wanna Rome around in Italy for a few days before we go Cuba diving?

Since you are kind of hideous, and electricity isn't Green, let's turn these lights off, baby.

Hey girl, I don't know what's more beautiful, you or this lovely day we just had.

If you believe in "wind power", this might require you getting your knees dirty.

You ever wonder why they also named the vacuum a Hoover? Wanna find out?

Hey baby, Is your name clinical depression?

Because you make me want to stay in bed all day trapped beneath your weight.

The flow of time is cruel, but only because one day it will separate me and you...

Is that a compass in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Are you a South American region experiencing the El Nino climatic phenomenon, or are you always this hot?

If I had a star for every time you brightened my day,

I would have a galaxy.

Can I plant my tree in your rain forest?

Care for a ride? I wanna take you to my planet, and watch endless sunsets all day long.

Yea I'm like pizza. You can have me all at once or save me for several days.

Want to spend the rest of my 7 day life cycle with you?

Reuse. s**.... Recycle.

It's supposed to snow on Friday night. What are you doing?

Let's take voyage back to my place.

Once you go green, you'll never choose anything in between baby.